There are definitely things in life you go through that you wish you could change. Sometimes you feel that not talking about them will change the fact that you are going through it...but it doesn't. As the body of belivers, we are called to rejoice and mourn with one another. I thought about that statement about 2 and a half months ago when I found out that I was pregnant. Many people do not tell people until they are through their first trimester because of the risk of loss in early pregnancy. I couldn't help it! I was so excited that as soon as I told Austin, all of our family quickly were told along with many friends. We talked about waiting, but we had been praying for a while for a child and I was so sure that God had provided our answer. At eight weeks I saw the heartbeat and it was amazing! I was so excited to be pregnant and even more excited to be a mom. What a gift! I took all the care in the world and our friends and family celebrated with us and took extra good care of me and my little one as well. We had dreams and goals for this little one and the body of believers who knew our news joined in on those dreams. It was a time of rejoicing. Then almost 2 weeks ago, I found that our dreams were not happening as planned and our little one went to be with Jesus. We were devastated and heartbroken. And I thought back to that decision I made to tell because we are called to rejoice and mourn with fellow believers alike...And I wouldn't have done anything differntly. The prayers that have gone out and those who have mourned with us, has actually helped Austin and I grieve and praise God even through this trial. I don't write this to bring attention to us or our loss, but to bring glory to God. He is holding us so tight...I have never felt Him so close. If I could wish to have it different, in my humaness I would, but God knows something bigger, better. Our little one has purposes yet to fulfill on this earth, but they will have to be fulfilled through us, his/her parents. I know God will use this brief life and our devasting loss to minister to a hurting world. I know many of you have gone through something similar and maybe more quietly and that is fine, but know that the fellowship of God's people in suffering is amazing. I could sit on the why me's for an eternity, but God knew that we could handle it and He grieves with us. He wants to use our hurt for good...ours and others. The best you can do for us is pray and take encouragement from the joy that God is bringing even while we are still hurting.
Love,
Heather
Sunday, August 3, 2008
In the Refiners Fire
Posted by Heather at 9:17 PM
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4 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you guys and your future children. All that you have been through can cause a swing of emotional/hormonal changes, so try to go with the flow. Tears are allowed! Keep us posted and thank you for sharing. Too many people keep this a secret.
Heather, Your mom has been such a prayer support to me as we have dealt with some very serious issues with my 25 yr. old daughter, so I want you to know that I am now offering my prayers and love for your entire family. Thank you for your tranparency in sharing this...God is truly being glorified.
The Lyrics from "God Speaking"
Have you ever heard a love song that
Set your spirit free
Have you ever watched a sunrise and
Felt you could not breathe
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking
Have you ever cried a tear that
You could not explain
Have you ever met a stranger
Who already knew your name
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking
Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"
Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here
Do you know what it feels like
To be tangled up in fear
What if He's somehow involved
What if He's speaking through it all
Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"
His ways are higher
His ways are better
Though sometimes strange
What could be stranger
Than God in a manger
Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
Who knows how He'll get a hold of you
Get your attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"
God is speaking
"I love you"
I'm so sorry for your loss Heather. It's difficult to understand why something like this would happen, but thankfully God still reigns during these times. Thank you for sharing it so that we can be in prayer for you both.
Heather,
My dear friend nothing I can say will make the pain go away. I love you, Austin and your amazing look on life. I can not wait to see you and hug your neck. Please know that we are constantly thinking about you.
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