Great Anticipation turns to Great Expectation

I know many of you who are praying for Austin and I as we enter this time of separation due to deployment are wondering how we are doing. I just heard from our chaplain assistant's wife, that Austin has made it safely over seas all though it will be a few days before they make it to their final destination and he said to tell me that he loves me! On my side, the one I can speak more completely on, I'm doing really well. No, I'm not just saying that. I can't tell you what the anticipation for the last 9 months and especially the last couple of months has been like. I have had all the emotions that have ever existed. Sadness, anxiousness, excitement, grief, panic, joy, peace...you name it!! Anticipation was many times the enemy of enjoying time together. We put our last few weeks into making sure all the loose ends were tied up as we would be apart for the most part of a year.

The day before he left, his day to leave got moved up. I had awoken that day already in a funk. I even spent sometime with the Lord in the Word and yet I was just down. When Austin told me he would leave Wednesday rather than Thursday, I pretty much lost it for the rest of the day. I tried to enjoy our time together, but great anticipation of saying goodbye to the love of my life and my best friend was overwhelming me. We made it through and ended the day well. The next morning I had a different outlook and we found out that he wouldn't have to leave until almost midnight that day. We got to enjoy our day just being together. We had beautiful weather and we laughed and just loved on one another. The goodbye was still hard. It took all that we had for him to get out of the car and walk away and for me to stick those keys in the ignition and leave him. I shed tears all the way home, but once I was home I went to sleep and awoke, not with dreadful anticipation, but with great expectation. I had a peace and a calm that I could not have created on my own.

Oh ya, God is faithful. Had I forgotten? He promises to care for us, to give us peace beyond understanding, to calm our anxiousness, to give us hope and a future. He did not promise to change our circumstances or give us a different calling. This is it, our calling for this season. Many people consider it sacrifice, and it is, but more than that for us, it is obedience. And when we are obedient and trust our Father, He is faithful to give us freely what He has promised! I should not have joy or peace when I have no idea really where my husband is or when I will hear from him and that he is going to a war zone, but I do. People, that is not from me...I assure you!! So I hope to encourage with this: God is not always safe, but He is good...and He is faithful. Don't put your trust in the things around you, but in Him!

And, I wanted you just to know how thankful I am for you who pray for us, and for my amazing Army wife friends here who took me out and cared for me all day yesterday! What a blessing from God!!

A Springtime Update

So besides preparing for a deployment within the next month and a baby within the next 4 months or so, we have gotten to do a lot of traveling and enjoying our short time together!

In March, we had a great marriage retreat in Keystone, CO with about 50 couples. It was great to see my husband in action and to get to interact with these army couples in such a beautiful setting. Plus, Austin got to ski which he hasn't gotten to do much of since he got his skiing buddy pregnant! After that, I got to travel to Texas for my little sis's bridal shower. It was a quick trip, but I was so grateful to get to be apart of this fun time for her and to see my family. To finish off March, we took a little road trip to the same place we had our honeymoon in Crested Butte, Co. In April, we also were fortunate to travel to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (no we didn't bring back the swine flu) for my sister's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and an amazing vacation. All we did was eat and lay out my the beach and pool. The biggest task of my day was to get up and go save our beach loungers before breakfast!

We eventually had to come back to real life, but did have one surprise waiting for us...to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. I thought we were having a girl up until the night before when I dreamt we were having a little boy. My dream was correct and in September we welcome a little fella to our family! We are so excited, but have yet to settle on the name! We will keep you posted.

The last couple of weeks have been filled with varied emotions. We are trying to soak up each moment we have left together while trying to get all the preparations for a year apart completed. This leaves us with mixed emotions. We know without a doubt that God has called us to this place and called us to this deployment. That is the only peace I can hold onto...this is God's doing and it is good. That's hard to swallow when my pregnancy hormones swell up and I cannot handle the overwhelming emotions of loneliness and sadness at my husband's absence during this very delicate time. Yet, when I have dried my tears and finished pouring my heart out to God, I hear Him say that He has something very special and amazing planned for this time...something that we couldn't experience otherwise. Ok...I think I'm ready. Everyone says the anticipation is the worst part...and right now I have to agree. Waiting for your husband to leave you for a whole year is not pleasant. Preparing for all the unexpected, not knowing exactly how often or how you will be able to communicate, not knowing if your baby will hold off until Daddy is there to witness it, and not knowing what this war holds...all can leave you in an absolute mess. I am so glad that I have Jesus...because He knows all of that. I can walk through all of that because He already has walked through it for me and will walk with me during it. That is peace.

And we both have an excitement knowing that now our "real" ministry begins. God called us both to this as partners in the Gospel for this group of people. God has already placed in advance the good works He has for us to accomplish. I will be here and hopefully, have an amazing ministry to women as Austin is on the front lines in Afghanistan ministering to the soldiers. This is nothing we have done before and we ask humbly for your prayers...that God would accomplish His will through us and expand His Kingdom among these people, that we would grow in our spiritual walk as we learn to depend on Him in new ways, and that our marriage would not just survive, but flourish amidst this time of separation.

A few pics are included below from the last few months!

Love you all,
Heather

Austin on our vacation in Crested Butte, CO.


Me, Allison, and our Mom at Allison's Bridal Shower.


Austin and I in front of the famous arch in Cabo San Lucas.


Half-way there! Me at about 20 Weeks Pregnant.

Our Little Boy!