Great Anticipation turns to Great Expectation

I know many of you who are praying for Austin and I as we enter this time of separation due to deployment are wondering how we are doing. I just heard from our chaplain assistant's wife, that Austin has made it safely over seas all though it will be a few days before they make it to their final destination and he said to tell me that he loves me! On my side, the one I can speak more completely on, I'm doing really well. No, I'm not just saying that. I can't tell you what the anticipation for the last 9 months and especially the last couple of months has been like. I have had all the emotions that have ever existed. Sadness, anxiousness, excitement, grief, panic, joy, peace...you name it!! Anticipation was many times the enemy of enjoying time together. We put our last few weeks into making sure all the loose ends were tied up as we would be apart for the most part of a year.

The day before he left, his day to leave got moved up. I had awoken that day already in a funk. I even spent sometime with the Lord in the Word and yet I was just down. When Austin told me he would leave Wednesday rather than Thursday, I pretty much lost it for the rest of the day. I tried to enjoy our time together, but great anticipation of saying goodbye to the love of my life and my best friend was overwhelming me. We made it through and ended the day well. The next morning I had a different outlook and we found out that he wouldn't have to leave until almost midnight that day. We got to enjoy our day just being together. We had beautiful weather and we laughed and just loved on one another. The goodbye was still hard. It took all that we had for him to get out of the car and walk away and for me to stick those keys in the ignition and leave him. I shed tears all the way home, but once I was home I went to sleep and awoke, not with dreadful anticipation, but with great expectation. I had a peace and a calm that I could not have created on my own.

Oh ya, God is faithful. Had I forgotten? He promises to care for us, to give us peace beyond understanding, to calm our anxiousness, to give us hope and a future. He did not promise to change our circumstances or give us a different calling. This is it, our calling for this season. Many people consider it sacrifice, and it is, but more than that for us, it is obedience. And when we are obedient and trust our Father, He is faithful to give us freely what He has promised! I should not have joy or peace when I have no idea really where my husband is or when I will hear from him and that he is going to a war zone, but I do. People, that is not from me...I assure you!! So I hope to encourage with this: God is not always safe, but He is good...and He is faithful. Don't put your trust in the things around you, but in Him!

And, I wanted you just to know how thankful I am for you who pray for us, and for my amazing Army wife friends here who took me out and cared for me all day yesterday! What a blessing from God!!