The Vanns Five

Deployment Reflections

2010-05-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

We are down to a matter of weeks left in our deployment. It is quite amazing to me that it is that close. This year has been quite the year. At times when I reflect, I am so proud of the many things that I have accomplished, but many times I feel that there are so many ways I have fallen short. Many say I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but of course, that is just our nature isn't it? Especially now as a mom!

Right now, I am just trying to focus on finishing well. Some days I just would rather give up and coast through the end. But I feel there are lessons still to be learned. God has taught me SO much through this year-- one of the hardest years of my life. Last year at this time, I was facing a deployment that seemed too massive to even comprehend. I was 6 months pregnant and I was about to say goodbye to my husband of only 2 and a half years for a whole year. We were about to spend almost a half of our whole marriage time separated by thousands of miles and war. I pulled myself up by my Army wife boot straps and devised a plan for "my deployment".

Being the "do-er" of ministry, I had already begun planning a prayer group and Bible study for the ladies in our unit. I was going to be a leader in our Care team (which helps minister and care for families who experience the loss or serious injury of their soldier). I was on the board of the Chapel's women's ministry connecting new women to each other and the other women and making them feel welcome. I had a schedule of when Austin would come home for his two week leave and how that would co-incide with the birth of Ezra. It was a good plan...no, a GREAT plan! So I thought!

NONE of this happened the way I planned...not ONE SINGLE THING!! Because Ezra came early, Austin missed the birth, I missed the kickoff for our women's ministry and the bulk of the work for my position, and then...found out my dad had stage 4 cancer! I headed to Texas for several months and did not get to lead the Bible study I had help to start. Through my sleepless state, taking care of a newborn and trying to help my family go through this very tough time...I felt I had failed. All my plans got smashed within a few short weeks. What did God want from me? I don't know if I could even think that question at the time. I was too tired and just trying to push forward.

What do you do when you get nothing you wanted...when it seems like God looks at your plans and says, well those are good things, but I have something else planned. This is what I have been reflecting on at the end of this deployment. Because to top it off, my husband's unit is being delayed several weeks. I have had the tendency these last few weeks to allow seeds of bitterness to be planted in my mind and heart. Many of the women around me said goodbye to their husbands after mine and will see them come home way before. The world says I have a right to be angry and frustrated and bitter. I think anger is ok, but then it needs to be placed in the right place which is not in my mind and heart. I have to give it over. I have to focus on something different NOT on the things I cannot change. I have complete control over my attitude and I have not been seeking the right things to put in my mind. Instead of bringing my frustrations before God, I have brought them before MANY of my friends and family and even facebook!

So yesterday, I reluctantly opened my Bible study which has been gathering dust since March. Not really believing that it would speak directly to my situation, I was again blown away by my God...woah. We are looking at the life of David and his idea to build a temple for God. God's response...good idea, David, but I have something else in mind. "When God doesn't appear to bless your plan to do something for Him, consider that He wants to do something for you instead...Every work of our hands that God truly blesses always originates with a specific work of His in us." I broke...it pierced me in a completely unexpected way. I was supposed to be letting the Lord do something for me, bless me? I cried out to God in my repentance for not coming near enough to Him to let Him do what He wanted which was bless me so I could do the real work He has! So I'm working on that. Seeking to let Him be the one who blesses me so that I in turn can be who He desires me to be and to finish this year well. What a relief that I hadn't failed because my plans didn't happen, my only "failure" was the failure to not come near enough to Him for Him to bless me...bring it on Lord, bring it on.

So, I am working on my attitude...allowing God to transform it especially as my exhaustion from this year presses down hard on me, as a year apart from my husband takes it's toll on my emotions...I'm trying to give it over. To continue to be the best Mom I can be to my amazing little boy and to seek my Father's face. Because I didn't get what I wanted, but if I allow God to bless me...I get more than I wanted. And God has been good, I have a healthy baby boy who is a joy to me. My marriage has grown stronger and I think we appreciate one another more. My husband, Lord willing, will be coming home (many will not). My daddy's cancer is gone and he is working toward walking again very soon. I have amazing friends and family with whom my relationships have grown stronger due to all the challenges. So today, I'm choosing joy over bitterness. I know I will have to choose and choose and choose again!

6 Months Old Today!

2010-02-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

My Little Man,

You are 6 months old today! I cannot believe that you have been with me that long, yet it's hard for me to remember life now without you. You are the biggest joy for me everyday. You make me smile and laugh all day long! Your smile and charm are infectious. Everyone around you has to smile when you look at them with those big blue eyes and sweetly raise your eyebrows at them to let them know you are interested!

Right now, your favorite things to do are eat (of course), jump in your jumper, look at mommy and laugh, play peek-a-boo, and play on your activity mat with all of your toys! You also are very interested in the TV, laptop, cell phone, remotes, etc. You love to grab your feet, and mommy's face! You know how to give me kisses and I love when you grab my face and plant one on me! You are so expressive and I love that! You know how to sit up (still working on sitting up and not falling over at some point), push up on all fours (no crawling yet), roll over from back to front and front to back. You now roll over to your stomach to sleep and can sleep pretty well unswaddled. You sleep most of the time through the night, but still like to see mommy in the middle of the night for a snack every once in awhile! You take 3 pretty good naps a day although I'm never quite sure how long they will be!

This week we will try solid foods (in addition to rice cereal) for the first time and I'm looking forward to trying to make all of your first foods homemade!

Ezra, there is never a dull moment with you. You teach me so much about enjoying every moment of life as I watch you explore and uncover the secrets of your new world. It's amazing to watch you grow, learn, and change and I am so beyond blessed to be your mommy. I know that Daddy can hardly wait to be back here to play with you and teach you things only a daddy can teach you. He's away for now so that he can help soldiers and tell them about Jesus as they fight for our freedom. He loves you just as much as I do! We cannot wait to be a family again with you!

I love you more than words could express. Thank you for brining me joy each day and putting up with me as I learn to be your mommy! Happy 1/2 year Birthday to you!

The End of an Era, A Great New Year

2010-01-13T07:09:00.000-08:00

So as 2009 came to a close, I began to reflect over the past decade. I turned 20 years old in 2000 and was a junior in college not knowing what lie ahead for the next 10 years of my life. During this decade, I moved to upstate NY for almost 4 years doing campus ministry, graduated from college, met and married my husband, graduated from seminary, lived in 4 different states, and had a beautiful baby boy! Wow! What a decade. I celebrate the end of it and the beginning of the '10's (?) by turning 30 next week! I would say it was a pretty great 10 years. God taught me so much through challenging me as a single person, ministry, a wife and now a mother. It is truly the end of an era, but more importantly it is the beginning of a new chapter and a great new year!

This year my husband comes home from a year at war, my dad WILL defeat his cancer and be healed completely, my little baby will turn a year old, and my baby sister will have her first child! I'm looking forward to all God has for our family. 2009 was a challenging year spiritually, emotionally, and physically and I don't regret the challenges we have had to walk through because of where they have brought us. I feel that we have all learned about serving one another, putting others above yourself. We have learned to depend on God for things out of our control--pretty much everything right now! I have gotten to know my family in a new way spending months with my grandparents who celebrated 61 years of marriage this years. Living in a house with 4 generations will certainly teach you some things! I have become closer to my dad as we have had several great spiritual conversations. My mom has become my mentor as a mom and of course, an even closer friend! My sister and I have drawn closer as we watch our parents walk through this difficult journey. Austin and I have learned the importance of a marriage grounded in our Savior and working at communicating well. We are more grateful than ever for one another! I have learned the beauty of being a mom. It is truly an experience like no other. It is hard, wonderful, scary, exciting, fulfilling, fun, challenging, emotional, fantastic, and sleep depriving...the most rewarding thing I have ever done thus far! My little boy will turn 5 months old next week. I can't believe he has been in my life that long, yet I can't imagine my life without him in it! (Will post specifically about Ezra next post!)

Oh what a decade it was! But as I look back and reflect, I see the thread of a God seeking to make us a little more like him and a God who is continually wooing us to himself. I am grateful and my hope is that he will be glorified above all else in my life and the life of my family! Let's do this 2010!

Being Thankful

2009-11-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

I am continually learning how selfish I can be. I think having a baby will do that to you! Just a few months ago I was fighting to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night and once Ezra began sleeping through the night, I had more "me" time. I felt like a new person and who can blame a new mom for feeling so great once her baby was sleeping more. I was getting more sleep and getting more done...heavenly!

Then on our trip back to TX for the holidays, Ezra went through his 3 month growth spurt- eating like crazy and not sleeping. My little angel who slept for 11 hours at night was waking me at all hours and NOT going back to sleep. My attitude became bad...I had a right to MY sleep. Didn't my 3 month old realize he was cutting into MY time??? No, he didn't. And again I realize I am selfish. I know it's tough being a mom (toughest and most rewarding job I've ever had!), but my heart attitude effected me and I found myself angry and frustrated. I was reading The Baby Whisperer and online looking for solutions all day and night!

Yesterday, Thanksgiving Day, it occured to me as I was holding my little boy trying to get him to take a nap that I was not being thankful at all. I said I was thankful for him and yet I was frustrated at something that was not his fault. The rest of that day, when he cried, I reminded myself to be thankful that his lungs work so well. When he woke me up in the night to eat, I thought how thankful I am he can eat on his own and doesn't have to have a feeding tube. When he smiles at the sound of my voice or cries at the sound of it because he's hungry, I remind myself to be thankful that he can hear me. He is healthy and happy, and as I became thankful, I found joy at being his mom again--even when he awoke at 4:30am. So I'm learning to be thankful even when things are hard because I am so blessed. And, God gives me the strength and grace each day to be a good mom despite sleepless nights!

How could I not be thankful for this little guy!

Yes he is always this happy!

I Miss My Men

2009-11-22T12:38:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that my husband is deployed and, of course, I miss him on a daily basis. There are times when I just feel like half a person. God is faithful to complete me emotionally, but their are times where I just want a man to do something for me. It may sound silly, but I miss a partner to do life with. Someone who is also Ezra's parent to comfort him and feed him his 6am bottle or 4am when he's going through a growth spurt. To take out the trash, take care of the cars, and help me make decisions. I can do all these things myself...that's not the point. I just miss someone to do them. I miss my Austin.

I also find myself back in Houston missing my dad. Yes he is here and fighting his cancer so strongly, but the dad I know is not here right now. I hurt for him that he can't do the things he wants and loves to do right now. On the way to Houston from Dallas, Ezra's portable swing broke. I was just thinking I wish my daddy was here to fix it. Maybe that is a selfish reason to want him here and healthy, but serving us girls is one way my dad shows love to us. I know he misses it as much as we do. Now here we are taking care of him, serving him. We do it gratefully, but we miss our dad and our husbands as we ladies depend on the Lord and one another to get those things done.

I love you Austin, and miss you and your partnership. I love you dad...let's kick this cancer in the rear!

Almost Half Way...

2009-11-14T09:56:00.001-08:00

So I wanted to be one who writes on my blog more...Wasn't sure what to write about today. Austin and I are almost half way through our deployment which seems totally crazy. We have been apart now for almost 6 mos. I didn't think I could do it, and I cannot! Only God has sustanined me through all of this craziness. It has been 2mos (almost 3mos) since I saw my hubby last. Communication has not been great as he has moved locations and they are not yet completely set up. We have only been able to talk twice a week at best. We still have email and for that, I am thankful.

I am thankful for a husband who loves the Lord, loves people, loves his country, loves his son, and especially who loves and cares for me despite the miles between us. I am thankful for my beautiful son who I fall more in love with every day...wow it is such a challenge and a blessing to be a mom! I am thankful for my awesome support system of women here in Colorado Springs...I could not do this deployment as well without all their help and encouragement. I pray that I am as much of a blessing to them. I am thankful for my family who are so loving and supportive of me even when they are going through one of the biggest trials of their lives! I am thankful for the ministry we have to the soldiers and their wives, the beautiful house I am living in FOR FREE, all we have been provided...and mostly thankful for a God and a Savior who provide for my every need and who is worth worshipping...Ok so I guess I needed to just be thankful. It puts me in the right mindset everytime. I'll just include some pics of a few of these I am thankful for!

Fear

2009-11-04T16:41:00.000-08:00

It's hard to see the fear inside
As I walk away from you
And distance overcomes the miles
As slowly I pull through
And I cannot reach the world today
Cuz I'm suffering from you
And the more I think, the more I cry
As I walk away from you

[Chorus:]
I'm two steps away
From loneliness
I'm awake
From the mess we made
I'm alive
And I'm feeling incomplete

I don't understand my life
Or the version that chose you
And the warring hearts and winter came
Now there's nothing left to do
And I cannot reach the world today
Cuz I'm suffering from two
And the more I think, the more we die
As I walk away from you

As I watched this dance last night on So You Think You Can Dance. I was moved to tears. For most people, they cannot understand how dance might do this to you. But many times as I have watched people dancing I have seen God move in my life. This beautiful dance portrays a woman struggling with fear. For many women with deployed husbands, this is a huge struggle for them. I remember before Austin left for Afghanistan people would ask me if I was afraid for his safety or even his life. My answer was usually, "No, he's a chaplain. He doesn't carry a weapon or go into battle." I was completely unaware that Satan was getting ready to attack every ounce of my being with fear throughout the next few months. Sometimes I had reason to be afraid as Austin traveled on dangerous roads to meet with soldiers in other areas, but sometimes I just felt fear as a cloud over me. I never expected to struggle in this way and Satan's arrows were fierce and unsuspecting. Now that I have realized my struggle with fear, I have to bring it sometimes daily before God because I cannot hold onto it. I would drown beneath it. Maybe your fear is different than mine, but fear is a tool Satan uses to make us ineffective where we "cannot reach the world today." I hope you can take from this secular expression of fear and see the spiritual battle it represents in so many of our lives.

Everyone Needs a Battle Buddy (or 2!)

2009-11-02T16:12:00.000-08:00

In the army, soldiers have battle buddies. Another comrade to look out for them in the heat and unpredictableness of the battle. I think Army wives need the same, especially during the deployment.

Today, as I was walking around running errands, I was thanking God for my battle buddies. Of course, my family would fall into the category of helpful and a blessing to me during this time of separation from Austin. But, nothing compares to people who are walking right there along with you in the same situation. I am blessed to call some very special women my battle buddies!

Kim is one of my battle buddies who is actually staying with me right now. Her and her husband and son are living with us right now. They are about to move to NY and I'm about to have to say goodbye to a very very good friend. Kim and I have only known each other a little over a year, but have been apart of some very big things in each others' lives. I was with her for her whole deployment and she has been with me through about half of mine. She has been my labor coach and was actually there for the birth of Ezra! We have done life together. Right now, she has been an incredible blessing by helping me with Ezra and even feeding him in the middle of the night so I could sleep a whole 8 hours! She has cooked meals now and almost the whole summer for me when Austin and Joe were both deployed. We continually bounce things off each other from relationships and parenting to spiritual things. Man, I'm gonna miss her!

So in many ways I feel like this year is so hard because my husband is gone and I have a new baby... but if not for these things I wouldn't get to know the joy and blessing of this kind of friendship! God has definitely met all my needs during this time and many times it has been with people like Kim!

Not what I had planned...

2009-10-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

I have thought about blogging many times in the last 10 weeks about what has been going on in my life and my family's life, but every time I tried I just felt overwhelmed. This was not what I had planned...

Ezra came 2 weeks early...
Austin missed the birth...
Austin comes home for R&R two weeks early...
My dad's back problems turned into cancer - stage 4 lymphoma...

I had planned that my husband would be gone this year, but in my plans things would go much different. I had tons of things planned to make my year go by faster; to make a difference ministering to soldiers' wives; to improve myself in the process. Things don't always go as planned, but I have no doubt that God is using this time to strengthen me and mold me into the woman he wants me to be. The result...

Ezra has gotten to be around his grandparents...
I have gotten to be closer to my family...
My dad has Ezra as his little ray of hope admist sickness...
I am able to bless my family and help them during their time of need...
I'm learning what a blessing people can be in your life when you have true needs...
I'm hoping it makes me a better "blesser" of people in the future...

Definitely not what I had planned, but most likely better!

Often times

Ezra's Birth Story

2009-09-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

From Heather's Perspective:

My pregnancy had been mostly textbook until my 36 week check up when my blood pressure was high twice in a row. The dr sent me to be monitored in the antepartum testing where they test my blood pressure, the baby's heart beat, and do an ultrasound on my amniotic fluid. Everything was great, but because it happened once, I would have to come for testing twice a week until Ezra arrived. The next week, I continued to get tested and on Tuesday night (actually 2am on Wednesday) I was feeling awful and was throwing up, so I finally convinced myself I needed to go be checked out. Because I was over 20 weeks pregnant, I had to pass through the ER and head to Labor and Delivery. I was there for over 5 hours as they monitored me and gave me medicine for my nausea. I went home exhausted, but Ezra and I were both ok and all the tests came back fine. I didn't have pre-eclampsia like they kept expecting. I remember just laying there praying that they would come back negative because if I was pre-eclampsic, they would have to induce labor and Austin would miss it...little did I know!

On Friday morning, August 21 at about 5 am I awoke (which was normal during pregnancy), but I didn't feel like I just had to pee. I stood up and I knew something was up. I made it to the bathroom and sure enough my water had broke! I was so upset...this was not supposed to be happening right now. I knew that Austin would not see little Ezra born. I called my mom crying and she just told me she would be on her way and to get to the hospital. I called my local support system that I swore I would not have to use! Kim, whose husband had just returned from Iraq, didn't have her phone near her. She was my fill in labor coach. I got a hold of Corie. We who have husbands deployed tend to have our phones close by! She would have to get child care and get her oldest off to school. I was not in pain, so I decided to drive myself to the hospital. (I joked that I would do this anyway since the hospital is literally 2 minutes from my house.) I took a shower and tried to get my things together. I was trying so hard to think of everything, but it was so hard to get my mind focused. I finally made it to the hospital at 6 am...I know, I know what took me so long. I was so not prepared to be giving birth 2 weeks early. My house was a mess because I had been sick that week and was planning to clean up that weekend. Ezra's nursery was not quite finished and my hospital bag was only half packed. But most of all, Austin was not here yet!!

By 9 am, they had me in a room and my friend Corie had arrived. I was still having no strong contractions. Kim showed up about 20 minutes later. Both of my friends brought things to do like cards and movies and music. We just enjoyed our time as 2 other friends, Jennifer and Emily stopped by. They finally started me on pitocin (to get the contractions going) at about 11:30am. My mom finally arrived at the hospital around 2:30pm after getting lost on the way to the post and having trouble getting on because my cousin, Raina, who drove her didn't know her insurance was expired! When Nana (that's what my mom is now to be called) got there, I was still not having really strong contractions and was not in any pain. By early evening, the pain began to get stronger as my contractions came closer together and harder. My midwife said she wanted me breathing through my contractions and being in true active labor before she gave me the go ahead for an epidural. I was in quite a bit of pain, but only dialated to 2cm. I asked if I could have something to take the edge off, but not anything that would make me loopy or out of it. So they gave me some meds through my IV. It felt great at first to have some relief, but about 20 minutes later the pain was coming through strong again!

Next time they checked me, I was at 3cm and in a lot of painso the midwife gave the go ahead for the epidural. I was never so glad to see a person (the anesthesiologist) in my life! He was definitely my hero at that point. I was unsure as to whether or not I would even get an epidural, but after that pitocin kicked in, it was like I was just constantly having a contraction. They took my breath away and literally my whole body bore the brunt of that pain! After the epidural began its work, I felt amazing! I was truly able to enjoy my birth experience. There are some people that argue that it slows down labor, but that was not the case with me at all! I went from a 3 to a 6 shortly after and in a few hours was already at a 10! Ready to push before I knew it!

The new midwife came on duty that evening and she was amazing. She was very peaceful and put me at ease. In between pushes, I was just joking and laughing with my nurses, Kim and my mom. I was so ready to have that kiddo out and in my arms. I was determined to push him out quick which I did. In 30 minutes at 11:50pm, out came little Ezra Austin Vann. They almost immediately put him on me after cutting the cord (which my mom got to do). Kim, my mom and I just looked at each other and cried. It was quite an amazing experience. They took Ezra to the other side of the room to get his vitals and clean him up and a few minutes after that, Austin called. It was perfect timing! He had no idea Ezra was born or that I was even close. I told him, "You're a daddy! You have a son!" He was so happy!! We spoke the whole time they were getting Ezra all cleaned up and when they brought him over to me, I held the phone up to his little ear so daddy could talk to him! Ezra was bright eyed and alert listening to his daddy.

So in all I was in "labor" for 19 hours, pushed for 30 min, and gained the sweetest little boy for a lifetime! I would do it again in a heartbeat. After being so sad that Austin missed such a happy day, I feel the Lord blessed my birth experience and was with us at every turn. So many people prayed with us and for us that day! I thank God for such wonderful friends who did everything they could to make the experience perfect! God provided for my every need even with my husband gone. And Austin was able to leave on a plane right after Ezra was born and was home several hours after I was discharged from the hospital.

I will have Austin post the experience from his side very soon!

Ezra Austin Vann Has Arrived

2009-08-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who hadn't heard. Our little boy entered the world 2 weeks early (by our plans) on August 21, 2009 at 11:50pm. He weighed 6lbs. and 9 oz. and was 19 and a half inches long...and beautifully perfect! Austin did not make it back in time for the birth, but arrived on emergency leave 2 days later. Since we are busy getting into a new routine and spending time as a family for the next two weeks, I may or may not get to posting more for a little while. I will post the whole birth story very soon! For now, know that we have a healthy beautiful baby boy and we are all together for a short while. We are just reveling in God's many blessings in our lives!

Taking Communication for Granted

2009-06-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

I knew during this deployment that communication would be important, but I did not understand what a lifeline it would be. Since Austin departed I rarely am without my phone right beside me or in hand. I have a blackberry that lights up when I have an email or facebook update. As soon as I see that light, I'm on that phone checking to see if I have a message for my hubby. Until Austin is actually at his place of residence for the year, we have no routine for communication. First, I just got to hear where he was through his chaplain assistant's wife (they have a satellite phone). Since then I have had two calls, one that lasted 6 minutes and another that lasted 20 minutes, but was staticky and hard to hear. I have gotten a few emails at random. I read each one at least 20 times cherishing the words from my love and trying to imagine where he is at and what he is doing!! Tonight was frustration, as I got a call from the chap. asst. wife saying that Austin had tried to call me!! WHAT!?!? So I tried to call him to the satellite phone and all I got was a message telling me the number was disconnected!! I called her back and she texted her husband. Finally, I got a call and it was Austin!! We talked for maybe a minute (expensive and he was on the move again), but I just soaked in hearing his voice and hearing him say I love you. Thank the Lord for technology...I would not survived being an army wife in WWII!!

It just makes me so completely appreciative of every little bit of communication I get. I try not to get frustrated and bitter as I might have more communication than some are able to have. I just try to relish in each time we have some sort of contact and let that take me to the next time! All I know is I will never ever look at a phone call, email, text, or any connection from my hubby the same way again!

He Gives out of His Abundance

2009-06-02T08:31:00.000-07:00

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Most of this time this passage is used when talking about giving. I believe that is its rightful context as Paul is talking to the church in Philippi. But I also believe it says something about the character of our God. He meets ALL our needs according to His Glorious Riches and His abundance. Do I imagine God dancing around heaven in pools of gold as His glorious riches?...no not really! Are all my needs monetary?...not usually. Even though I know the Lord has provided for us financially during this season, and I praise Him greatly for that, I have a deeper need. I have a need for him to meet my loneliness.

I dealt with loneliness being single after college and doing ministry up in the cold northeastern part of the country. It was a struggle, but God was there meeting my need from His abundance and not from my own or anyone else's. I have spent the last couple of days very busy to keep my mind of of Austin being deployed and enjoying new and old relationships. On Sunday evening I had spent most of the weekend with people and had thoroughly enjoyed myself. Yet, I laid down to sleep and a flood of loneliness and aching for my husband washed over me. I told myself...no more tears, but they came. I fought the thoughts of, "God, why did you give me a husband just to be separated from him 2 years later." or "I can't do this for a whole year." I consoled myself to sleep. I awoke in a funk the next morning with my loneliness still uncured. I simply said to God, "I just need to talk to him." I spent the morning with God asking him to basically meet my needs and to use me that day.

Our God is so kind and you know what...He will meet ALL our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. I spent the day out and about and the Lord met my needs as I served others and had great conversations with a Godly friend. Then that evening as I am expecting nothing else...a phone call comes in. It was Austin! God had heard my simple plea and He was gracious and kind with me. He had already filled me up that day with His peace, yet He gave me this kindness...a 20 minute conversation with my hubby. Granted, the phone call was full of static and I could barely hear Austin at times, but my heart was truly full and I knew it was from God! He knows what we need and He gives out of His Great Abundance! Be encouraged in this!

Great Anticipation turns to Great Expectation

2009-05-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

I know many of you who are praying for Austin and I as we enter this time of separation due to deployment are wondering how we are doing. I just heard from our chaplain assistant's wife, that Austin has made it safely over seas all though it will be a few days before they make it to their final destination and he said to tell me that he loves me! On my side, the one I can speak more completely on, I'm doing really well. No, I'm not just saying that. I can't tell you what the anticipation for the last 9 months and especially the last couple of months has been like. I have had all the emotions that have ever existed. Sadness, anxiousness, excitement, grief, panic, joy, peace...you name it!! Anticipation was many times the enemy of enjoying time together. We put our last few weeks into making sure all the loose ends were tied up as we would be apart for the most part of a year.

The day before he left, his day to leave got moved up. I had awoken that day already in a funk. I even spent sometime with the Lord in the Word and yet I was just down. When Austin told me he would leave Wednesday rather than Thursday, I pretty much lost it for the rest of the day. I tried to enjoy our time together, but great anticipation of saying goodbye to the love of my life and my best friend was overwhelming me. We made it through and ended the day well. The next morning I had a different outlook and we found out that he wouldn't have to leave until almost midnight that day. We got to enjoy our day just being together. We had beautiful weather and we laughed and just loved on one another. The goodbye was still hard. It took all that we had for him to get out of the car and walk away and for me to stick those keys in the ignition and leave him. I shed tears all the way home, but once I was home I went to sleep and awoke, not with dreadful anticipation, but with great expectation. I had a peace and a calm that I could not have created on my own.

Oh ya, God is faithful. Had I forgotten? He promises to care for us, to give us peace beyond understanding, to calm our anxiousness, to give us hope and a future. He did not promise to change our circumstances or give us a different calling. This is it, our calling for this season. Many people consider it sacrifice, and it is, but more than that for us, it is obedience. And when we are obedient and trust our Father, He is faithful to give us freely what He has promised! I should not have joy or peace when I have no idea really where my husband is or when I will hear from him and that he is going to a war zone, but I do. People, that is not from me...I assure you!! So I hope to encourage with this: God is not always safe, but He is good...and He is faithful. Don't put your trust in the things around you, but in Him!

And, I wanted you just to know how thankful I am for you who pray for us, and for my amazing Army wife friends here who took me out and cared for me all day yesterday! What a blessing from God!!

A Springtime Update

2009-05-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

So besides preparing for a deployment within the next month and a baby within the next 4 months or so, we have gotten to do a lot of traveling and enjoying our short time together!

In March, we had a great marriage retreat in Keystone, CO with about 50 couples. It was great to see my husband in action and to get to interact with these army couples in such a beautiful setting. Plus, Austin got to ski which he hasn't gotten to do much of since he got his skiing buddy pregnant! After that, I got to travel to Texas for my little sis's bridal shower. It was a quick trip, but I was so grateful to get to be apart of this fun time for her and to see my family. To finish off March, we took a little road trip to the same place we had our honeymoon in Crested Butte, Co. In April, we also were fortunate to travel to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (no we didn't bring back the swine flu) for my sister's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and an amazing vacation. All we did was eat and lay out my the beach and pool. The biggest task of my day was to get up and go save our beach loungers before breakfast!

We eventually had to come back to real life, but did have one surprise waiting for us...to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. I thought we were having a girl up until the night before when I dreamt we were having a little boy. My dream was correct and in September we welcome a little fella to our family! We are so excited, but have yet to settle on the name! We will keep you posted.

The last couple of weeks have been filled with varied emotions. We are trying to soak up each moment we have left together while trying to get all the preparations for a year apart completed. This leaves us with mixed emotions. We know without a doubt that God has called us to this place and called us to this deployment. That is the only peace I can hold onto...this is God's doing and it is good. That's hard to swallow when my pregnancy hormones swell up and I cannot handle the overwhelming emotions of loneliness and sadness at my husband's absence during this very delicate time. Yet, when I have dried my tears and finished pouring my heart out to God, I hear Him say that He has something very special and amazing planned for this time...something that we couldn't experience otherwise. Ok...I think I'm ready. Everyone says the anticipation is the worst part...and right now I have to agree. Waiting for your husband to leave you for a whole year is not pleasant. Preparing for all the unexpected, not knowing exactly how often or how you will be able to communicate, not knowing if your baby will hold off until Daddy is there to witness it, and not knowing what this war holds...all can leave you in an absolute mess. I am so glad that I have Jesus...because He knows all of that. I can walk through all of that because He already has walked through it for me and will walk with me during it. That is peace.

And we both have an excitement knowing that now our "real" ministry begins. God called us both to this as partners in the Gospel for this group of people. God has already placed in advance the good works He has for us to accomplish. I will be here and hopefully, have an amazing ministry to women as Austin is on the front lines in Afghanistan ministering to the soldiers. This is nothing we have done before and we ask humbly for your prayers...that God would accomplish His will through us and expand His Kingdom among these people, that we would grow in our spiritual walk as we learn to depend on Him in new ways, and that our marriage would not just survive, but flourish amidst this time of separation.

A few pics are included below from the last few months!

Love you all,
Heather

Austin on our vacation in Crested Butte, CO.

Me, Allison, and our Mom at Allison's Bridal Shower.

Austin and I in front of the famous arch in Cabo San Lucas.

Half-way there! Me at about 20 Weeks Pregnant.

Our Little Boy!

Packing for a Trip Without Me

2009-03-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Austin is an army chaplain to an infantry unit here at Fort Carson, Colorado. He will be deploying to Afghanistan for a year in the late spring. All of these facts seemed so distant to me and deployment, although inevitable, completely intangible--until this week. Austin and I have only been married for a little over 2 years, so to imagine being separated for a year is like living half of our marriage time apart. It just doesn't compute with me. Since we have been married almost every experience has included each other and now we will be leading completely separate lives for a year.

Then this Monday, the packing began. They have to pack several months early to make sure it all gets in there and goes through highly sensitive security testing. Since there hasn't been an official date set yet, him leaving always seemed just far enough away not to really affect me. Monday he went off to run errands to get things he needed. He brought home items that he would need for his deployment. After he had been upstairs for awhile packing, I went up there to check it out. I looked in one of the large green duffles and there were his personal things...things that belonged here where he was. I don't think it truly hit me until I saw him putting those things in that bag. Then I looked around the room and all the things that just seemed like matching camouflaged foreign objects stuck out to me...this was armor and he was going to be wearing it...my husband is leaving and he is going to war. I don't think I had really thought about this before. Now here I am completely filled to the brim with hormones and I can't help but be so sad and yet more proud than I can imagine.

I'm proud of him for following God's will and leading our family here although I know that will include huge sacrifices. I'm proud that he is willing and ready to go and to serve his country and our Amazing God. I am proud that he works so hard to love these men and women who are also willing to put their lives at risk for our freedom. I am proud because I see God fulfilling His purposes for Austin and Austin bearing much fruit and flourishing in this environment. I'm proud to be an army wife and I am proud to be Austin's wife.

And I'm sad. I'm sad that we will miss daily times sitting on the couch talking or watching TV. I'm sad that I won't wake up cuddled next to the love of my life. I'm sad that there will be things of this new child's life that he will miss. I'm sad because I will miss my best friend and all the laughs we share. I'm sad and a little scared because we are stepping into the unknown. I'm sad that we will celebrate Christmases, birthdays, and holidays a part.

All these things are apart of the world we chose and God led us to. I wouldn't trade them or ask not to go through them. I know they will make us better. I know they will strengthen our faith and our marriage. I know what God has promised to us. His protection, His guidance, His peace, His love and His unfailing grace to face any situation. But, for now, my sweetie is packing for a trip without me...and I'm just learning how to walk through that.

Being Almost Three Months Prego!

2009-02-22T11:54:00.000-08:00

So we found out we were pregnant the day after we returned from our Texas Christmas vacation. It was a Sunday morning and I decided to take a test. I got up around 7 am, did my thing and hopped back in bed watching the clock until 5 minutes was up. I had an inkling that I might be, but didn't want to get my hopes up, so I didn't even say anything to Austin who was surely wondering why I was so squirmy and staring at the clock every 2 seconds. Finally the 5 minutes was up and I made my way back to look at the results. Since it was early (for a Sunday after a 15 hour drive the day before) and I didn't have my glasses on, it took me a minute to focus on that little stick...low and behold there were two lines! I literally rubbed my eyes to make sure I just wasn't seeing double. I grabbed the test and ran back to bed, jumping on my husband and shoving the test in his face! He was very confused and had no idea what I was showing him. I just yelled, "I'm pregnant!" We were excited and scared and anxious and elated all at the same time. We got dressed for church and went walking on clouds!

The next few days, panic set in as I recalled the excitement of the last time we went through this...a Sunday morning as well, right before Father's Day last June. I was scared. We had prayed, as so many of you had as well, for this little one. We desperately wanted this baby and I told God so often. As we spent the next week together, we tried to enjoy our news, but we both had a hard time really connecting to it. We were busy preparing for Austin to leave for training in Louisiana for a whole month. That month flew by in some ways, but in others dragged on. Morning (or shall we say all-day) sickness set in and most days I just felt like laying on the couch trying to keep from puking. We got to talk often, but all of this time apart brought on new fears that I had to give to the Lord.

Austin is going to be deploying to Afghanistan for a year sometime in late April/early May. We hope he will get to use his R&R (two week leave) to come home for the birth. We have no idea if this will work out, but we have given that to God. I have come to learn dependence on Him in a new way. I have to trust Him with my husband, this little life growing inside me, my loneliness, and my ability to be a "single" mother for a time. It's alot, but the Lord has been giving me a peace...not one I can even explain. He has provided prayer warriors to surround me and wonderful godly friends who I treasure. And He has given me an excellent marriage (not perfect), but strong because we are learning dependence on Him.

So yes, I am ready to feel better and it is happening week by week...although today is not one of those better days, but I am also learning so much about faith. A few weeks ago we got to go to our first real OB appointment for an exam and to hear the baby's heartbeat. Austin got to come in for the heart beat part. I thought this would have been a difficult week for me being 10 weeks pregnant (same week I lost the baby before), but I really must have been held in the arms of Jesus and people's prayers. I was calm and excited. The midwife could not find the heart beat at first. Sure, my first reaction would have been panic and thinking the worse, but God had prepared my mind. I'm not sure guys have the same time of preparation. They are not reminded daily that they are growing a little baby in them. Austin looked terrified. I consoled myself, beliveing everything was fine, and with the fact that they would wheel in the ultrasound machine and I would get to see my little miracle! When we saw that little precious thing...Oh my...it was amazing. The midwife had to keep telling me to sit back so she could get clear pictures and then she would freeze them to show me. I had a hard time...this is my baby...I want to see it for as long as I can. That little guy/girl was moving around like crazy...then she hit the audio. Oh the most precious sound of the heart fluttering! Truly awesome! We are blessed. So sickness can come and go...I'm trusting Jesus for this absolute miracle and for all the challenges coming up! God gave me this verse to hold on to: Psalm 113:9 which says, "He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother." That is me. Praise God!

Yes, We are Pregnant!

2009-02-18T16:14:00.000-08:00

I will post more on this topic soon, but here are the first pics of our new little one due on September 5, 2009. We will get to see him or her again on Monday!

Remembering Our Little "Jo(e)"

2009-02-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

Today is February 13th, the would be due date of our little one we lost this summer. I knew this day was coming soon and I have no idea how to commemorate this date, but to share it with others. We named our first baby Jo(e). Since we did not yet know the sex of the baby, we didn't know whether to use the "e" at the end or not. He or she was graced with that name because it is my middle name and was my granddaddy's name.

Jo(e) we sure miss you today and would have loved to celebrate Valentine's Day welcoming you into our arms and lives. We know that you are with your Father enjoying all of Heaven with your Maker and Savior. We couldn't have asked for better for you. Your daddy and I look forward to the day that we meet you face to face. What a great reunion that will be. And what better day to meet than the day we meet our Savior face to face as well. You will always be our first baby and a great blessing from the Lord. You have already been a blessing in the lives of others who have suffered the same loss as Mommy and Daddy! We knew you would! Even for the short time you were "in" our lives made it that much more joyful. I love you my little Jo(e) and always will.

The Great Gift of Friendship

2009-01-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

I love friendship. I've always tried to follow my mom's motto of being the great friend you would want. So I've tried to be a great friend, but I feel amazingly blessed at the friends God has given me.

There are so many different types of friendship. I would consider my mom and my sister some of my first best friends. There have been childhood friends whose memories I enjoy, but may have lost touch. I have new family friends in my lovely sister in laws. And friends that I have had in ministry: mentors, those who have been my rock during ministry, and those who I have ministered to who ultimately became lifelong friends.

Then there are those special friends who I now get to say we have been best friends for 10 years (Amy and Sarah...you know who you are!). Those friends that no matter what they accept you and have seen you through so many life stages: college, marriage and even children. We may be far apart, but they are friends I could say anything to...I mean anything!

I would be remissed without saying that, next to Jesus, my best friend in the whole world is also the love of my life, Austin. There is a whole new level of friendship in marriage that is so incredible. When he is not around I feel like half of myself. We are "thick as thieves" as he likes to say!

I would say that in my life, friendship ranks as one of my high priorities. When we moved, yet again, I was the most concerned with finding that very thing. Let me tell you, I found a new kind of friendship. There is something to be said for friendships in the military. Many of the other friendships in my life are so deep, but took a long time to form and grow. And while friendships do evolve and grow here, its amazing how quickly you form deep and meaningful friendships within the army community. I think part of it is the fact that you know you don't have that much time since you move every 2 to 3 years (and that's on the longer end). But another part is what you go through together. I really can't fully explain it or would have understood it myself living in the civilian world. We experience the separation of our husbands frequently and at some point for a year at a time. We essentially are all losing our best friends and life companions for chunks of time so we need friendship. You become fast friends out of necessity, but life long friends out of that sweet time spent together. I can't tell you how many people have asked me if the kid/baby I am holding or watching is mine (they aren't), but I have become second parent for many friends and it is a joy. But they are there for me to. I spent the first weekend night without my husband watching a movie in my friend (a girl) Corie's bed. I will spend many days shopping and laughing with my friend Kim. I went to lunch today with 3 other wonderful friends (one I just met today) and we laughed like friends for many years! These friends don't replace the ones who are already so dear to me, but add a unique layer in my life that I wouldn't change for anything. Praise be to God for His many gifts!

Belated Christmas Post

2009-01-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to post about our Christmas and New Year's since we returned from Texas a few weeks ago! Austin and I were spending as much time together as possible because we knew he would be leaving this week for JRTC (a training camp) for a month. We had a wonderful holiday together and with our families. We drove the 12 hours into Dallas and spent time with Dr. and Mrs. Vann (Austin's parents) and also with Aaron and Kim (brother and sis in law) and their sweet little Makennah. We enjoyed catching up with them, getting to hear Dr. Vann preach, and laughing a lot! We also got to see my sister's new and beautiful home in Fort Worth. She will be getting married on April 17th and we are so excited for her and her fiancee, Mike.

We arrived in Dallas on a Saturday and headed to Houston to visit my parents on a Tuesday. My parents had bought a Wii and let me just tell you that I don't think we have had a more fun Christmas! We played Wii until we were exhausted and were literally sore the next day. We attended a candlelight Christmas Eve service in which Austin was quite disappointed that we all didn't get our own candles--just the choir. That night we made a gingerbread house and finished wrapping presents. We spent Christmas day at my cousin, Alan and his wife, Kat's house. Kat is an amazing cook and it was gourmet and fabulous as usual! We were sad for such a short trip, but it was great. My parents gave me an amazing new camera and my sweet husband blessed me with a gorgeous new watch! We were so blessed! So that weekend we made the long (15 hour) trek back to Colorado Springs.

As much as we miss our family and friends in Texas, we could sense as we drove into the Springs, that we were home. That is a great feeling when your whole married life has been full of moving! We live in an amazing place and have already been surrounded by great friends. Which is great for me since I will spend much of my time here alone. This Christmas was even more special because it will most likely be the last one spent with my husband for 2 years. We realized this and are learning to never take our time together for granted. We felt like we were dating again and just really enjoying each other! I encourage everyone to feel like that in their marriage!

Our $10 Christmas tree we cut down from a National Forest (with a permit)

Kim and Makennah. Isn't she adorable!

Dad and Austin competing in a little Wii!

Austin and I on Christmas Eve

Me, My Mom, and My Sister on Christmas Eve

Our beautiful Gingerbread House

Our fun group on New Year's Eve. Toasting with our Sparkling Cider!

Skiing through Thanksgiving and Christmas Trees!

2008-12-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

So I know you all have been on the edge of your seat wondering if I would "get back on the horse" and try skiing again. You all can rest secure, I did! Over the Thanksgiving holiday Austin and I along with another couple, The Whites, headed up to Keystone for what I hoped would be a much much better skiing experience. With my bruises from the last time almost completely healed, I convinced myself that I could ski and could have fun! I guess attitude is important! We had a great time. The first day I fell a little. I told Austin he could go on any runs he wanted, but I was going to master the green (easiest) runs. As I got better, I fell less and less. By the end of the second day I was having fun, although still sore, and I knew each and every bump, turn and dip of those green runs! On the third day, we were basically in blizzard conditions, with the most beautiful powder I have ever seen. It was so much fun! I was zipping down blue (intermediate)runs. Yah, baby! I am officially addicted to skiing and we are going again with Austin's unit next weekend. What a great thanksgiving to eat all we wanted with no guilt because we literally exercised for three days straight!

So my spiritual connection to the story is that, once you get knocked down and defeated, you must get up and trust that you can get down that mountain and enjoy it! Sometimes God wants us to go back to the basics and really get to know Him just like I had to take the time to know the "easiest" run again and "master" it (I know we can never "master" it and I will have to go back sometimes). God came to give us an abundant life with Him. I enjoyed being in His creation and sometimes I got really scared (scared of falling or not being good enough to get down). I would convince myself that I had the ability and was equipped to get down the mountain. I learned how to talk myself out of a fall!

On another note, we moved on post this week (yes, we moved again...I think number 5 since we have been married). It was a lot of work even with movers, but we love our place and I will post pics as soon as I can get my camera working. Then yesterday, we decided to get away from boxes for a few hours and go cut down our Christmas Tree. I know what you are thinking...that is so fun to go to a Christmas tree farm and cut down your little perfect tree! Nope! This year we found out that we could go to Pike's Peak National Park and cut down our own tree with a $10 permit fee. We bought our little bow saw and had our map. Let me tell you this is no Christmas Tree farm...this is a freakin' forest!! We took one road and I literally felt like I was on a crazy snow roller coaster. There were no rails, hairpin turns, big rocky bolders, and no one else to rescue us. It was an adventure. We searched for a couple of hours to find our "perfect" tree. We sang Christmas carols and tramped out in the snow. These trees are either huge or not full at all. So we found our tree...sort of a really fat version of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. We call it ghettofabulous. We decorated it last night and laughed as you can see ornaments from one side of the tree while standing on the other side. But it is our first tree together and we found it and cut it down ourselves! I love it! Posted below are pics from the cell phone. I'll post better ones later! Also is one of Austin out in the field.

A New Mountain Experience

2008-11-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many of you have ever been skiing, but I did not grow up going skiing. The first time I ever went was my junior year of college and it was not a pleasant experience. When I lived in New York, I decided to give it a try again and had one of the students in our ministry who was gracious enough to give me lessons and ski backwards in front of me so I could learn. Since then, I have been 2 other times, once with my hubby on our honeymoon in Colorado.

Now that we live in Colorado, it seems the perfect time to get really good at skiing. Austin loves to ski. We had a ski expo on post a few weekends ago and he was like a little kid on Christmas morning. I want it to be something we can do together and someday teach our kids to love it to and we purchased season passes to Keystone/A-Basin. Since Austin had a four day weekend and we have hardly seen each other in the past week or so, we decided to try our season passes for a day of skiing.

Let's just say it didn't start off well...mainly with my attitude. We got up at 5am and I was not a happy camper. The first run would start at 8:30 am and we had a 2 and a half hour drive to the ski resort. I slept most of the way and felt uncomfortable about my ski clothes (I don't know why...just one of those mornings.) We even stopped for Chicfila breakfast on the way so you would think I would be in a chipper mood. It was cold and overcast and so was I!

We arrived at the mountain with all the other crazy skiers on the Monday after the opening weekend of skiing. The mountains were barely covered with snow, so the snow on the slope would be mostly man made...did you know that they can do that..make snow!! Crazy!!

So we suited up and headed to the gondola line. We heard that only 2 runs were open, but we were still excited to get down that beautiful mountain...until we started down the mountain. Austin was fine, I however was a little shaky. There were a ton of people on this run...more than I have ever skied with before! I knew I would have my first fall as it has been almost a year since I have skied. After that fall, I picked myself up and was ready to keep going...this was normal for my first run down. There were so many people swirling around me that it made me nervous...that's when we got to the first really steep part. After falling a few more times, I was beat up. People on the mountain were not friendly, in fact several people were right out rude in what they said as I was stopped on the slope in my fear! Austin was great...he was encouraging and patient with me urging me to take my time. I was frustrated. I had done this before. I had the skills and the experience to ski down this mountain. I looked down at the mountain and all these "expert skiers" taking it like it was easy as walking...I was petrified. The mountain become unskiable for me. I was stuck in my fear. I fell one more time as some naysayer came by to give me his opinion on being stopped and trying to get my ski back on. I lost it. I cried. I was beat up and definitely had bruises (large ones) on several areas of my body. All I could look down and see was impossibility. I just wanted to be done. Part of me wanted to snap off my skis and march down this beast on foot even if I looked foolish.

So what got me down the mountain today? For one, I prayed...I really wanted to make it down without much more pain. Second, my wonderful husband. I knew he was sacrificing his fun day on the mountain to help me, but he was patient and taught me a way to slide down that ended up being very helpful in my skiing technique. He told me that he didn't want to ski without me, that it was just us working together. Thank you sweetie! (I let him go by himself back up and down the mountain twice after we made it down.) And third, I actually found this one girl who was by herself and she was snowplowing this thing (Snowplowing for those who don't know is using your thigh muscles to push out on your skis while keeping the tips of your skis in sort of a triangle. This helps you go really slow and is how they teach you to ski for the first time). It seemed every time I had given up in fear and loss of confidence, this girl would show up snowplowing her heart out. Snowplowing is one of the most painful ways to ski. It is not fun, but it teaches you control of your speed. I cannot stand to snowplow! I felt she was the only other one on that mountain not skilled to swoop down from side to side with out falter. I thought, if she can do it, I can to. Who cares what I look like, I am getting down this mountain!

So why do I tell you all in detail about my painful skiing experience. Well, after I had achieved my goal and was back down on semi-flat land, I evaluated...what had I learned. It was like a spiritual journey. Sometimes we think, I have walked with God for so long and I have seen this mountain before...I'm good to go. I have the right equipment, in fact, I have a new jacket and goggles, watch out mountain! Then we fall, and sometimes we are ok and pick ourselves back up, but we just keep falling. Meanwhile, our teachers (or God) are trying to help us understand that we can't go so fast and we need to practice our turns and we need to rely on Him to help us. That's why I kept falling, I was not listening to help from my teacher (Austin). Once I did and I concentrated on following him, I fell a lot less and I wasn't looking at that huge steep mountain below me. Sometimes along the way it seems like there are naysayers, people who point out our faults and who just seek to keep us down. We must listen to the encouragers and watch those who are walking (skiing), not perfectly but with confidence that going slow and with confidence will get them down that mountain.

I did not go up again. I was tired, broken, bruised, and completely emotionally done! But I will, and with a new found understanding of my limitations and also new goals. Maybe the next time, my mountain won't seem quite so daunting and my fear will not conquer me. I want to trust God whatever mountain I find myself on and even when I discouraged and people are discouraging. He wants to teach me to follow Him and take it one step at a time. As my husband said, "It doesn't matter how you get down the mountain, I just don't want you to fall." What insight into the heart of God! But oh am I sore!!!

A Time to Mourn

2008-11-04T20:24:00.000-08:00

Austin had his first memorial service today. It was my first as well. I went to support him and be a co-minister to the family who were in attendance. Austin did a great job and I am so very proud of him. The service itself was very sad. Many fellow soldiers attended in uniform. The soldier who died was honored by his commanding officers and fellow soldiers and friends. Austin spoke of Psalm 139 about how we each (including the soldier who died) are so precious to God and that he knows our name and His precious thoughts about us are as numerous as the grains of sand. It was a great reminder of how precious life is and how much our Father loves us-- even those who may not be following after Him. If you have never had the opportunity to attend a military memorial, let me tell you it is something quite amazing and humbling. After the speeches honoring the soldier, they had a bagpiper come in playing Amazing Grace. Then they did something called a roll call where the sergeant calls out the names of soldiers and they stand and say, "Here First Sergeant." Then the sergeant calls out the name of the deceased three times and when he doesn't answer the sergeant goes and sits down. It sent chills down my spine. After that we all stood for military honors and they did a 21 gun salute and then taps was played. At the end, after the family recessed out, the soldiers would file out in pairs and in front of the "altar" (consisting of a gun with a helmet on top, a pair of boots and a picture of the deceased soldier) they would salute very slowly. Some placed different items at the altar.

I got to meet the father and the wife afterwards and it really was a joy just to listen to them and minister to them the best we could. It was very sad as the father had already lost his other son, his wife and his mother. He had many unanswered questions and we are praying that he would find His answers in Christ.

One of the highlights, if there can be any in a memorial, was that fact that the soldier who found the deceased and who Austin got to later lead to Christ, spoke at the memorial. To me it was a reminder once again that God brings life out of death.

The Vanns Five Fall Update

2008-10-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

So I realized today that so much stuff has been going on in our lives the past few months and I haven't really stopped to share. So this post will be long, but will include lots of pics and let you know what is happening with us in Colorado Springs!

Most of you might know that we have moved to Colorado Springs and are serving with the Army Chaplaincy. Austin has been doing amazing and I am so proud of him. He has done two weddings (pics included below) and today headed out to the field with his troops for a few days in the snow...That's right we have snow on the ground this morning in the middle of October!! I was so surprised when we woke up this morning to fall foliage and a blanket of white on the ground and in the mountains. The good news is that the sun is already breaking through!

Since we have been in Colorado we have visited the Garden of the Gods, been mountain biking, visited Cheyenne Mountain Zoo (a zoo on the mountain!)and had a marriage retreat in Breckenridge. Austin was "hailed" at a traditional Army "Hail and Farewell" where they welcome new soldiers to the battalion and farewells to those leaving. We have dinner at a nice restaurant and then the commander ribs the each officer a little and welcomes them. I see deer or foxes almost every day in people's yards! It is so fun!

We have both been involved in a new chapel service called Chapel Next. It is a national movement among military posts that seeks to reach young soldiers and their families and has a modern feel. Austin has preached and is in charge of single soldier outreach. I have been singing in the worship band and we have both helped with children's ministry. We are really enjoying being apart of this new work seeking to reach young people! You can check it out at http://chapelnextfortcarson.blogspot.com/.

In December we will be moving on post into NEW housing that is really awesome. We are so excited that the Lord has provided for us to be on post. We will get to have 3 bedrooms, a two car garage, and a yard! I feel great about having neighbors I know and who are going through the same thing when Austin deploys in May or June next year. We also are a lot closer to where most of our life takes place! Austin will be only minutes from "work" and I will be so close to the commissary (grocery store), the PX (like Walmart/Department Store), the fitness center, our church (Veteran's Chapel) and where I go to Women's Bible Study called PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) every Tuesday morning! I also have such a heart to reach out to the women on post and this will allow me to live among those women and families! Thanks God!

Lastly, we are so excited at the ministry opportunities God continues to give us. Austin's job can be so tough some days as he seeks to please God by sharing Jesus and his commander and the army by doing what they ask him to do. It can be disheartening and challenging at times. God has been faithful! Austin had a tragic situation on Monday happen within his unit and was so discouraged. But God had called Austin to pray over his guys' barracks just the day before. We prayed and I listened as he processed. The next day at my Bible study we prayed for the chaplains and Austin began praying for opportunities to share. Out of this, another solider involved with the crisis came to Austin and told him he wanted to know how to come to Christ. He accepted the Lord and said he was changed!! He said he would share with his wife and bring her back if she wanted to accept Christ as well! Amazing. What Satan meant for evil, God meant for good. A situation that the devil was all in, turned out to bring life to a spiritually dying soldier. Life out of death! That's what our Lord is all about. Please continue to pray for Austin and his ministry. He deals with spiritual warfare everyday. I have never felt so strongly the call to be a prayer warrior for someone as I have for him during this time. I know we are fighting spiritual battles!

Ok so thanks for surviving the update! Pictures are posted below!

Our snowy fall day!

Austin getting ready for his trek out in the field in the cold and snow.

Our future "home". It will have red shutters!

Austin getting "Hailed" at a traditional Army Hail and Farewell.

Austin and I on date night at our marriage retreat in Breckenridge.

Austin in his dress blues for the wedding he did.

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At the mountain Zoo with my friend's son Jackson!

My Hard Working Hubby

2008-09-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know many of you are proud of your husband for how hard he works, so your like so what your husband works hard! I just want to exhort my husband publicly and say what an awesome job he is doing as an army chaplain. He has taken on a whole new world/culture, and ministers to around 600 soldiers. He has already untiringly counseled hurting soldiers and their families in suicide, marriage difficulties, infidelity, depression, etc. He gets up early almost every morning and some weekends to go run up hills...mind you I'm still in bed hitting the snooze button and curling back up for a few extra z's. He not only works a typical "8-5" job, but is on call all the time. He has a phone for that and they use it...alot!! He answers and dresses and heads out for emergency situations. He goes to meetings, has to prepare briefings, does pre marital counseling, works out (again), plans for retreats, and much more than I can even name. He will go out into the field sometimes overnight, sometimes until way past his new 9pm bedtime, and sometimes for a week! Just to talk to soldiers about their issues and give them a chance to corporately worship God. All of this AND he is preparing for a month long training away in winter and a year long deployment in late spring. Austin is truly my hero. I am very proud and so blessed to have such a hard working husband who still finds time to take me out to Chic-fil-a for dinner or converse with me even though he is practically falling asleep! A man stopped us one morning we were having a quick cup of coffee before he had to go to work and said thank you for serving our country. I was beaming with pride. Austin just shrugged it off because he doesn't feel worthy of it...ah my hero! Makes me even more proud. I am so thankful for all our armed forces who put their lives on the line and for policeman and firefighters as well. You wives should be proud. And I am also thankful for their chaplains, who seek to minister by their presence to these men and women who put their lives on the line everyday!

ARMY WIFE DOWN!!

2008-09-12T06:51:00.000-07:00

I should have known what with my previous experience with army aerobic classes, but I went anyway! Last night I took a spinning class at the Forest Fitness Center on Fort Carson. If any one has ever been to a spin class, you know that it is quite the workout. Basically, you get your own bike and your instructor leads you for 45min to an hour in biking virtually uphill, sprinting, standing, sitting, and some quad burning hovering that I could only consider as pure torture.

As I walked into class, I met the instructor. She didn't look that tough and was nice enough to ask me if I had been to spinning before and if I needed help with my bike adjustments. Confidently, I smiled hoping she would see all my spinning experience from the last few years. "Yes, I have." I felt confident at this point watching newcomers getting help on how to adjust their bikes and having to take a flyer on spinning. I had this. About half way through I was questioning my sanity...this chic was unsuspectingly tough. I had some soldiers in my class and they were barely making it. This was the hardest spin class I had ever taken. I was NOT about to let this class get to me. Something from deep inside me rose up and I decided I was going to defeat this class and ultimately show that little tough instructor my skills. I was NOT going to wimp out. I spun harder than I ever had...

I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. I proved my prowess out in the fitness room, but I may not be able to walk today. Will I go back...you bet!!

Being an Army Wife

2008-09-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

When I knew that someday I would become an army wife, I did all I could to know about and prepare for life in the army. I even got hooked on this lifetime show called Army Wives last summer. It is an awesome show and the chaplain even got some play time on last nights episode! (I told Austin I thought he could have done better with marriage counseling than this guy!)

Being as prepared as I was, nothing could have prepared me for how much I love it already! Of course, my husband is not deployed right now (probably May or June '09), but I am already so grateful for what God has provided here. I prayed for friendships, and I have already been over to one of the spouses houses for lunch and invited by several others. I meet women from all walks of life, but who are so real and have a strength I have seen little of in other places. I have been attending a ministry Bible study on Tuesday mornings called Protestant Women of the Chapel or PWOC for short. I know it doesn't sound riveting, but on those days I feel so encouragd and so excitd to be where I am. I guess you just make friendships quicker since everyone is usually always going and coming. And, you learn to depend on each other much quicker because your spouses are gone often. I have never felt like an outsider...I'm in the club. They understand a part of my life, no offense to my civilian friends and family, that is so important- my call to live this life and minister to people in the military. And in such a short amount of time!

Granted there are huge sacrifices that they make/have made and I will make in the coming months and years. Many of them are on there third or fourth deployment over the last five or six years! As one lady testified though, she doesn't think she would have become a Christian had it not been for the army lifestyle and her having to find dependence on God. Another lady in my Bible study last week, said she had never been to church before, but she knew she needed to come. What an opportunity to be used by God like never before.

The sacrifices are great... but there are some great benefits. I have this magic card now called my military ID. Let me just tell you it is awesome!! I get free healthcare and perscriptions...that's right I said FREE!! I get discounted and tax free grocery's at the comissary (that's the grocery store on post) and the PX (like a Walmart/Department store). I get free fitness center membership and I believe a certain amount of free childcare per week (when we have kids). And we even get many military discounts off post. Not only that, but in edition to Austin's salary we get an extra tax free amount for housing and living expenses. I'm not trying to brag here, but let you know that God has blessed and He is providing for us. We hope to be able to give much because we have been so blessed!

God is healing us as well from the trials of the last couple of months and is showing us new dependency on Him everyday! I love where God has us right now and I love being an army wife and a chaplain's spouse. HOOAH!!

Pray for Persecuted Believers in India

2008-08-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

Article Published online in the Baptist Standard:

Christians attacked in eastern India
By Staff
Published: August 27, 2008
WASHINGTON (BWA)—Christians are under attack in the state of Orissa in eastern India, where more than 600 churches have been demolished, 4,000 Christians forced to flee from their villages, and at least 25 killed as a result of violent persecution, Baptist World Alliance officials reported.

“Unfortunate events have taken place in Orissa in recent days. These began with the senseless killing of Hindu Swami Laxmanananda Saraswati. … I am disappointed by the false claim that Christians have responsibility for this murder, and I am saddened by the atrocities being visited on Christians in Orissa,” Baptist World Alliance General Secretary Neville Callam said.

Vishwa Hindu Parishad religious leader Swami Laxmanananda Saraswati and four of his associates were murdered in the Kandhamal District of Orissa Aug. 23. Although a Maoist group claimed responsibility for the murders, supporters of the slain leader claim that Christians were behind the killings. Hindu fundamentalists have launched a series of attacks against Christians in retaliation.

Since Aug. 24, churches, schools and other institutions, prayer rooms, and homes of Christians have been ransacked and burned. Christians have been assaulted, and reportedly at least 25 have been killed—some burned alive or cut into pieces.

In an Aug. 26 e-mail to the BWA, Swarupananda Patra, General Secretary of the All Orissa Baptist Churches Federation, said “All Christian villages (are) empty in Kandhamal as Christians, old and young, sick and pregnant mothers (are) hiding in forests exposed to the non-stop monsoon rains without food.”

Kandhamal is the hardest hit, with at least eight Christians killed and almost all Christian homes demolished, he reported, but Christians in the districts of Balasore, Bargarh, and Kalahandi are also experiencing severe persecution.

P. Ramesh Kumar, Principal of the Balasore Technical School, reported to the BWA on Aug. 25: “We are all under immense danger and threat from these groups. … Please continue to uphold us in your prayer particularly for the safety of Christian brothers and sisters who are now hiding themselves in jungles.”

“I appeal to the governing authorities in India to intervene to save the lives of the many who are being victimized in the current crisis,” Callam said. “Respect for the principle of religious liberty and the sacredness of human life requires nothing less. I also appeal to all Baptists worldwide to pray God’s protection for our brothers and sisters in Orissa.”

Patra also appealed for prayer. “Now we have no request except prayer from our Baptist world as we do not know how to face tomorrow.”  

This is not the first time Christians in Orissa have experienced violent attacks. In December 2007, Hindu militants burned about 90 churches and 600 homes, killing 10 people.

Several Baptist conventions and unions in Orissa state are member bodies of the BWA, with total membership in Orissa of nearly 500,000 baptized believers and about 3,500 churches.

Transitions

2008-08-18T14:29:00.000-07:00

As many of you may know, Austin and I are in a transition time. We just moved last week to Colorado Springs where Austin will be stationed at Fort Carson, CO as an army chaplain. I am so very proud of him for all that God has done in and through him to get him to this place where he will be able to minister to soldiers and serve his country. I am excited about the call God has placed on my heart and life for this type of ministry as well. It is much more new to me (Austin grew up an army brat and a pastor's kid), but I am nonetheless excited and passionate about the ministry to these men and women and their families. My role will be different, but I am excited about the new challenges that lie ahead.

We drove across country this past week from upstate NY to Colorado. We had many tireless hours on the road, but we briefly saw Chicago and many fields of corn in Nebraska--not even kidding there was corn everywhere!! When we reached Colorado Springs Saturday evening, I was completely amazed!! It is amazing! The mountains are everywhere and are the most beautiful backdrop ever. Everytime we go outside, I am thrown by their majesty and beauty. I keep saying, "Whoa, can you believe we live here!" I tried to post pics, but we have bad internet in the hotel, I will post them soon!

Of course, to move to a new place, you must leave an old. That is hard as well. As we went to church Sunday, we dearly missed our Outpouring family in Oswego. We miss our relationships and our comfortable, familiar fellowship. Here, we know no one and it feels sort of lonely. But, we know this is just the season and soon we will become familiar with this place and it will be home. We will always miss our Outpouring friends, but we know that this is where God has us. We are truly blessed as we follow after Him!!

PS. Thanks for those who have been praying for us during our time of loss. Thanks for the comments you have left even if you didn't know what to say. And if you didn't , but wanted to, that's ok too! We are blessed to have godly friends and family who pray for us.

Love,
Heather

A Story for Those Who Have Experienced Loss

2008-08-10T19:27:00.000-07:00

This is a story I read on another person's blog talking about the loss of a baby through miscarriage. It was really encouraging to me and although I shed tears when reading it, I can't help but feeling eased by the thought of our sweet child in heaven.

Derek is the nephew of a dear friend. I met him 7 years ago when he was 11 or 12 years old. He came over to dinner with them because they were babysitting him while his mom was on her honeymoon. Derek and his dad were in a horrible car accident 3 years prior, and his dad had died. Derek, himself, died 3 times (at the scene and in the ambulance). Paramedics were able to revive him each time, but he ended up in a coma that lasted for 2 months. His mom never left his side in ICU the whole time. He was all she had left. and she prayed he would wake up. and worried how she would tell him about what had happened. Would he even remember the accident?

One day, about 2 months later, Derek woke up. Before she could even tell him about the accident or ask him anything, he told her "Dad's in Heaven". She was shocked that he knew that! When she asked him how he knew, he told her he'd been to Heaven 3 times. The first time he went, he saw his dad there and talked with him. The second time he went, he told her he met his 4 brothers and sisters. He described them, what they were like, and that there were two boys and two girls. She was speechless. See, Derek was an only child. She'd had 4 miscarriages, early on, before he was born. She'd never told him about them. (tears again) The third time he went to Heaven, he met Jesus. He showed Derek around, and then told him he had to go home, and be with his mom, that it wasn't his time to come There yet. But He wanted Derek to tell everyone he met about This Place, and what It was like...

When I met Derek, he'd just finished interviewing with 20/20 to share his story. But his mom had decided at the last minute not to air it for fear they would diminish what he had experienced. Derek was a lively boy, with scars on his face and body from the plates and screws that had been put in during multiple reconstructive surgeries. His aunt told me he would at times be humming a song in the car, on the way somewhere, and his mom would ask him what it was because it was so pretty. He always told her, "I don't know the name of it... it's one of the ones I heard the angels singing while I was in Heaven".

I tell you his story for this reason friends: I asked him one time when he was running by me, to PLEEEASE tell me what did Jesus look like? He was too busy playing to entertain me. I even offered to pay him five dollars if he'd tell me! Nope, too busy, not now. I begged him later to tell me what his brothers and sisters looked like (fighting back tears, trying to act cool and nonchalont, imagining my own unborn babies up there). He said, "they looked just like us, like kids, running around and playing!"

Ladies, I'm sorry for the long comment. But I had to share this because my heart is beating out of my chest as I type. For those of you out there who've lost a little one before you got to hold them, Derek's story has brought me more hope and encouragement for what my babies are doing right now as I live my life here without them, and the eternity we'll have together one day when I WILL hold them, than I could ever put into words here.

In the Refiners Fire

2008-08-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

There are definitely things in life you go through that you wish you could change. Sometimes you feel that not talking about them will change the fact that you are going through it...but it doesn't. As the body of belivers, we are called to rejoice and mourn with one another. I thought about that statement about 2 and a half months ago when I found out that I was pregnant. Many people do not tell people until they are through their first trimester because of the risk of loss in early pregnancy. I couldn't help it! I was so excited that as soon as I told Austin, all of our family quickly were told along with many friends. We talked about waiting, but we had been praying for a while for a child and I was so sure that God had provided our answer. At eight weeks I saw the heartbeat and it was amazing! I was so excited to be pregnant and even more excited to be a mom. What a gift! I took all the care in the world and our friends and family celebrated with us and took extra good care of me and my little one as well. We had dreams and goals for this little one and the body of believers who knew our news joined in on those dreams. It was a time of rejoicing. Then almost 2 weeks ago, I found that our dreams were not happening as planned and our little one went to be with Jesus. We were devastated and heartbroken. And I thought back to that decision I made to tell because we are called to rejoice and mourn with fellow believers alike...And I wouldn't have done anything differntly. The prayers that have gone out and those who have mourned with us, has actually helped Austin and I grieve and praise God even through this trial. I don't write this to bring attention to us or our loss, but to bring glory to God. He is holding us so tight...I have never felt Him so close. If I could wish to have it different, in my humaness I would, but God knows something bigger, better. Our little one has purposes yet to fulfill on this earth, but they will have to be fulfilled through us, his/her parents. I know God will use this brief life and our devasting loss to minister to a hurting world. I know many of you have gone through something similar and maybe more quietly and that is fine, but know that the fellowship of God's people in suffering is amazing. I could sit on the why me's for an eternity, but God knew that we could handle it and He grieves with us. He wants to use our hurt for good...ours and others. The best you can do for us is pray and take encouragement from the joy that God is bringing even while we are still hurting.

Love,
Heather

It's Gonna Be Worth It

2008-07-27T15:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes songs help us put into words what we are feeling better than we can at the moment. The words of this song spoke to me this week and maybe they will speak to you as well.

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
Lyrics by Rita Springer

More on Romania

2008-07-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

These pictures are from one of my favorite days of ministering in Romania. We were allowed to come into an elderly home in Brasov. The employees told our contact that most likely the people there would be mean and unreceptive to us. We prayed before we walked in that God would open the doors for us to minister to them. The very first room we went into we got to sing to two ladies and I just sat down and held one of their hands. Instantly, they begin to light up and speak to us about how happy they were we were there. We got to meet with many more as they flooded to the lounges on their floor. We couldn't have long conversations with most of them because our Romanian was not great, but we just hugged them and held there hands. We sang some more praise songs to them. Some of the women looked like stone statues when they came in and as soon as we began singing and loving on them, they would just cry. They told stories of how no one comes to visit them and how their families do not care for them. By the end, we saw God's presence dwelling in this place and ministering to the forgotten. It was pure joy.

The lady holding me sooo soo close in the above picture was one of my favorite. She was blind. She actually could have the surgery to see again, but could not afford it. Since she was blind and we couldn't speak the same language, we had to communicate in a different way. I was drawn to here when I walked in the room. She was just sitting in a chair and staring off at the wall. I came and put my hand on hers and she immediately grabed me and pulled me close to her. She gave me hugs and kisses and through an interpreter she told me she was so happy I was here. I don't think I have ever experienced love from a complete stranger like that. I was here to minister to her and she was ministering to me! It was quite amazing to see God break down the walls these older people had put up and watch them be joyous and almost youthful again! What a blessing we had the opportunity to be a part of!

Romania Pictures

2008-07-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

The beautiful city of Brasov, Romania. It looks like a little fairytale city!

More at the Orphanage.

Some of the orphans we worked with in Valenii.

The small town of Valenii de Munte, Romania.

On the last leg of the Journey!

2008-07-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

We are now in Vienna and will leave on Thursday to make the long trek back to Oswego. First we will fly from Vienna (we flew in from Bucharest, Romania yesterday)and stop in Madrid. Then from Madrid we will fly into JFK New York City where we are renting 2 cars to drive to Syracuse. From there we will be picked up by some great volunteers at around 1am to drive the last 45 minutes back to Oswego! We had an amazing time in Romania and I look forward to sharing it all when I have more time and a better keyboard..not a German one! I also will post some pics!

We have arrived!

2008-07-05T04:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for praying. Our travel has been safe thus far. We finally reached our destination in Romania yesterday morning. We spent 2 days in Vienna after a long drive to NYC from Oswego and a layover in Madrid, Spain. Let's just say we were super tired. God has already blessed us so much. Our guitar (which we are using quite a bit for music ministry in the church and orphanges) did not arrive with us to Vienna. It finally arrived to the airport, but they never delivered it to the hotel. We left for Romania at 5 am and our airline was not yet open, so we didn't think we would get the guitar since it was a different airline. We stop and asked God to help us with this tool we needed for our mission. Low and behold when we got off the plane in Bucharest, Romania there was the guitar! We are now in a small village 2 hours north of Bucharest called Valleni de Munte. We were told we would not be able to take a shower for the 6 days we were here and would in essence be "roughing it". We got here to find we have exceptional accomodations with showers and the heat is not to bad here. Also, a little blessing for Austin and I is that the pastor's daughter and her husband are allowing us to stay with them together in their home!

Yesterday afternoon we got to go to the state orphanage here to play with the girl orphans their. We sang with them and practiced our very bad Romanian. We played games outside and I got to sit and talk with some of the older girl orphans. They are 18-21. Some of them had great English and we talked about what they liked and their relationship with Jesus. We will go back this afternoon. It is such a huge blessing to be there to love on them and give them the attention they are in such need of. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and I will keep this updated. I won't be able to put pictures on until I return, but it is beautiful here. We are in the mountains and there are lots of gardens and animals and some people even travel by horse and buggy! So surreal.

Prayer Requests for Romania

2008-06-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

So we leave tomorrow morning to NYC to fly out of JFK tomorrow evening to Romania. If you would like to pray, here are some requests. I'm going to try and keep up with this blog during the trip when we have access to the Internet! Thanks for your prayers!

Prayer Requests for Romania:

1. To see with God’s eyes, hear with His ears...so that we’ll be sensitive to His leading.
3. That we would understand the Father’s love and that His love would be apparent, visible, and received.
4. That God would teach us to pray and pray boldly. As we pray, that His power would be let loose and we would see miracles...!
5. Unity for the team.
6. Safety for the team.
7. Health!!!
8. For the language barrier.
9. That people would be open to God and His Love.

July 4-9: Valenii de Munte, a small village in Southern Romania
Here we will work with Pastor Viktor, be living with older orphans in the Dorcas Home, and we’ll be ministering to 60 young girls in a local state-run orphanage doing soccer camps, art (& music!) camp, and English camp.\We will also minister in Pastor Viktor’s church via a worship concert and sharing testimonies. Finally, we will be having Bible Studies with the Dorcas Girls (the older orphans).

Please pray for us as we serve in Valenii de Munte!

July 9-14: Brasov, a large city in Central Romania
Here, we’ll help our friend Kati establish and expose the Petros Association, a foundation that we are helping begin to bring help and hope to those in need in Romania. We will do this through worship concerts, and by helping begin renovation on a facility donated to the Petros Association.
We intend also to visit orphanages and elderly homes where we will have parties and spend time singing, dancing, face painting, playing games, doing music, giving hand massages....basically we want to love on them! We also hope to work in an infant orphanage to do touch therapy.

Please pray for our work in Brasov!

Prayer for My Cousin

2008-06-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

Click here for an update on my cousin who deploys with the Army sometime next month. I'm so proud of him and of his sacrifice for us and his country. Whatever you may feel about war, please pray for those serving and laying down their lives. I cried as I read. Soldiers are even dearer to my heart these days! Thanks for your prayers!

Heading to Romania

2008-06-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

In nine days Austin and I along with 8 other church members will be traveling to Romania for a mission trip. We are getting so excited. We will be working with a church and other Romanian Christians to minister to orphans and the poor in Romania. We will be doing some construction to repair a building for the beginnings of Petros Association, a Christian ministry that will reach out to widows and older orphans, abandoned by the government. We will also put on programs for orphanages and give testimonies as well as encourage churches and do prayer ministry in the streets! Romania has just joined the EU, but is still struggling as they have just been coming out of communist rule in the past 10 years or so. They are struggling under uprising prices, but not increasing salaries and jobs. Pray for those who are hurting and we are being called to minister to.

I love going to other countries. This will be like the 12th country I have been to on a mission trip. This trip is even more special because it is my first mission trip as a married woman and I am blessed to get to go with my husband. The Lord allowed us to raise the money we needed for both of us to go! What a joy!! I can't wait to share overseas ministry with my hubbie! Our team is incredible and I think it is going to be a great time. We will be traveling to Vienna, Austria and 2 cities in Romania on our trip and will be gone 17 days. We would love to have your prayers as we travel and minister!

Encouragement for those helping in Myanmar

2008-06-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

Here is an email I received. If you want to send messages to my email I will collect them and add them to the email I send. My email is vannclan05@yahoo.com.

Hi, I am inviting you to write an encouraging message to your national brothers and sisters over here and I will compile the messages and send them on to them.

The situation:
There are believers here who have been working tirelessly since the storm to help the suffering. They are exhausted and sometimes feel very alone because of the "road blocks" placed upon their situation. They feel helpless because of the enormity of the situation. Many of them must go through flooded places, not only flooded with water but dead bodies which are still there, to reach the survivors. The people who were in refugee camps have mostly been taken back to their homelands with no roofs, no livelihood, and no promise for help.
The brothers and sisters you will write to are the ones who are going out, feeding, doctoring, saving, loving, transporting these victims. They are completely exhausted and have no encouraging words left. They know they are not alone, but they feel alone. Just to tell them that they have brothers and sisters all over the world who are praying for them was encouraging, but I thought to actually hear from you would be exponentially more encouraging.
You can include a scripture. Please, pray about this. They come back in to the city one time a week, confer with each other, replenish supplies, have meetings and update each other on the situation. As they come back in I would like to line their meeting room walls with real words of encouragement that come from real people who are praying for them. Include your first name and a generic description of where you live (i.e., John in Denver, Colorado).

My Best Friend Had Her Baby!

2008-06-05T09:04:00.001-07:00

YAY!! My best friend had her very first baby boy, Nathan Lee Hickey, last Friday evening! I'm so proud of her and her baby is just precious. I get to be unofficial auntie to him and wish I could be there to hold him and help his momma out! Love you Sarah! Check out their page at my links The Hickeys!!

LOST Season Finale

2008-05-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

Ok so I don't usually post these types of posts to my blog. But I can't resist. I became a LOST fan this past January when it was snowy and I was stuck in doors. I had never watched a full episode so I watched seasons 1-3 within three weeks to prepare for the start of season 4. I was hooked. I would watch late at night while Austin slept and I had to convince myself to go to sleep and not click on the next episode to play. I was LOST obsessed! It was difficult to go from that to one hour a week! I must say I am still a huge fan and last night's episode is exactly why! This season, I have been a little disappointed at times but the last three episodes have reverted back to the LOST I fell "in love" with! The characters have definitely evolved. I love it when they are on the island. I don't really like the characters when they are shown off the island. They seem to be better people on the island and that might be on purpose (maybe even better actors!)

So last night's episode recapped. Loved the battle with the new enemy. Loved that we got to see the Others again. Liked the fact that John Locke will be in charge of them now that Ben has had to move the island and be banished (love that he is banished!). Was so glad that my prediction from earlier than this season was right on with John being the one in the coffin. Very confused by him being back here and dead. Also, if Jack does get all the Oceanic 6 convinced to go back to the island, will John Locke rise from the dead as the new Jeremy Betham? Don't worry if you have never watched LOST and are confused by this post. LOST is generally confusing. I loved the amount of questions answered and new questions posed. I can finally see how they are going to make a few more seasons happen now. Loved that Sawyer sacrificed himself for the good of the group (real growth of the character). Still unsure about where the island went when it was moved. Thought the disappearing island was awesome. Loved Penny and Desmond's moment of reunion and the kiss---I clapped! I hate that none of the Oceanic 6 seem to like each other or trust one another. I hate that Jack is a druggie, Hurley is crazy, Walt is like a giant and no one goes to see him, Kate is bitter and wayyy protective of little Aaron, Sun is acting more and more like her father, and Saiyd...well he works for Ben and is killing people. Of course, he was an Iraqi torturer previously--not sure if it is a step up or not! I was sad about Jin, but I'm still wondering if we will see him again. I'm sad that Claire is gone...what is the deal with her and Christian...is she dead? So much that all I can say is LOST rocked my socks off!!! Can't wait until another great season!

Some time for Reflection...

2008-05-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

When I was single and working in New York, I was so diligent about emailing people about all that was going all and all that God was teaching me. I would email every week almost. I have realized that I have been bad about that as we have been in Oswego. In the beginning we sent out newsletters, but we have badly fallen behind. But, it is not because God hasn't been teaching us and doing amazing things in our midst. Quite the opposite! We have been learning to trust God for so many things and He has kept us quite "busy" with the ministry and people here. Most of our friends and family get to here some of the updates, but I wanted to share more intimately.

God has been sooooo good to us! Do we struggle sometimes, YES! of course we do. We are human after all. There are some things about living in a small town with no couples are age that leave us feeling like we are doing this alone. But God has provided for us and blessed us in ways that we are still finding out! We can't help but praise Him. We are learning to trust Him anew. Austin and I get the joy of spending lots of time together, but we have also had to learn to minister alongside one another in away that most couples never do. We have our differences of opinions at times, but I have been so blessed to have a husband who loves me and respects my opinions as much as I do his. We have had to learn to put aside ourselves to serve each other and the others around us. We are still learning, but God is a faithful and patient teacher. We both realize that we will probably never ever have this type of opportunity again, so starting off our marriage this way has been so fun!

The Outpouring Church struggled to find its place our first semester, but since the spring we have seen God truly outpour His Spirit among these people in this place. People are responding to God's call, so thanks to the faithful among you who pray for us and our ministry. We have seen many of the students raise up into leaders who are willing to learn and grow from us and with us. This church is seen as an experiment to many, and if it is, I think that we have found something that works! But I think it is more that God is at work and He is bringing people to himself. We have seen 3 students baptized and several come to Christ. The church is averaging around 50 to 60 people! We were given favor with the campus and they let us use this state of the art auditorium to meet in every week for our worship service. Since we moved our service to noon on Sundays, we tend to have less students "sleeping in"! Austin and I are both ecstatic every Sunday morning to get up and see what God is going to do that day. We love getting to meet with students one-on-one and hear there hearts and also to share the gospel. We have gotten to build amazing relationships! This summer we will continue to meet with the group of about 20 or so who will be around for the summer. We will still have small group Bible studies and worship on Sunday. Pray that God uses this time of less busyness to build up the leaders and help us refocus the vision.

Another huge prayer request for Austin and I is that we are in the midst of waiting. God has been speaking to us all semester about obedience and following after Him. Before school began this January, we attended a service at a local evangelical church. During the sermon, the pastor talked about being ready for God to move you wherever he chooses. Austin and I were both deeply impacted by the message and felt it was speaking to us, but had no earthly idea what it was saying to us. So we went about the next few months when we received a phone call from the Pentagon. A Chaplain manager told Austin that he really needed to think about putting in a packet and that they would not give him a practicum (training time in the summer). We were kind of taken back and Austin felt surely that they would not accept him yet into the chaplaincy. We were under the belief that we had to do two years of post-seminary ministry to qualify. We prayed and called the North American Mission Board. Our contact there said he would get back to us and after several more conversations told Austin he believed he was ready and qualified to put in a packet.

Whoa! God? What? Is this from you? We discussed and prayed and discussed and prayed...What were we to do? According to our NAMB title we were "committed" here for 2 years. Things were going so well and we had plans already for the second year. Then God brought the earlier message from the local pastor to our minds. After much deliberation, we felt called to at least put in our packet and see what would happen. We talked with our mentors and supervisors about this. And although sad, were supportive. We talked with our student leaders, sad, but also very supportive. We were confident, after acting quickly, that we would know something by May 6th, just in time for the end of school...but no still waiting. We are in this holding pattern, but we are learning to trust God in this and believe in His sovereignty. We are both committed individuals so it is hard to say we are leaving early. But we also believe we are just a piece of God's puzzle that He is using to reach Oswego. We don't believe our service was in vain. We have to trust Him! I think about when the disciples were there with Jesus after many "followers" had abandoned Him and He asks them, "Do you want to leave too?" And Peter replies, "Where would we go?" That is how I feel. I can't go anywhere else except where God wants and calls. There is no where else to go! Please pray for us during this transition time and I will keep you updated. Sorry for the long post!!

Some Pics from Our Week in Texas

2008-05-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'M GRADUATING!!!

2008-04-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

I am finally graduating from seminary with my Master of Arts in Missiology (study of missions)! It has only taken me 6 years in which I have moved from Texas to Syracuse, Syracuse to Texas, worked as a campus minister, got married, and then moved from Fort Worth to South Carolina, South Carolina to Dallas and Dallas to Oswego, NY!! WOW!! I just finished my thesis this week and found out today that I passed. I will go to Texas in May to graduate along with my bro and sis in law, Jeff and Audrea Medina, and on the 100th year celebration of the seminary. The sun is shining, it is 70 something degrees in NY and I feel a huge sigh of relief!! Thanks for celebrating with me and for all who were praying and helped me get here (including my hubby, Audrea for editing, and my father in law Dr. Vann for his help!) But thanks mostly to God who has taught me so many spiritual lessons through this process and has helped me in my darkest times of it all! I love my Jesus!! YAYYY!!!!

Please Pray for Baby Ethan

2008-04-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends and Family who read this. I have a friend from college who needs prayers for her 12 week old baby who is very sick with a rare form of leukemia. You can read more and pray for her and her family. Some of you may know Kasey "McMillan" Krawiec from DBU. I'm just passing it on!!!

2008-04-14T13:38:00.000-07:00

This is the new shampoo that I have been trying recently. I have the most trouble finding one that doesn't make my hair to "greasy" looking at the roots and too dry and frizzy at the bottom. My hairdresser always gets on to me for not using professional shampoo and conditioner because apparently the other kind are "bad" for your hair. So I stumbled onto Organix Shampoo's and conditioners at Walmart the other day and I noticed that some of them had a full rebate for either the conditioner or the shampoo. They were normally almost $6 for a bottle and for me that is more than I would want to pay for something that I didn't even know worked. I figured that even the cheap stuff is around $3 for each so if I got one free, then no harm done! I tried it and I have had the best hair days ever! They have organic ingredients and no sulfates to dry your hair out. My hair smells so fresh even after drying it and stays fresh smelling and looking a day or so after! I tried the coconut milk shampoo and the tea tree mint conditioner. You can check out their website here. I haven't received my rebate just yet, but already it was money well spent. Check Walmart and Target to see if this special rebate is still going on. I know alot for just some shampoo, but I love it when I find a good beauty product I can share!!

The Call to Army Chaplaincy

2008-04-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

I thought it was so great when I ran across this video today as I was doing some more research for my thesis. God broke my heart once again for our future call to serve Him in the Army as Austin becomes a chaplain. This video depicts what PBS likes to call Army Chaplaincy "boot camp". Austin took part in the completion of this very training this time last year! One of his friends from the first part of the training, David Dice, is on this video. I cried as I watched, for it is very close to my heart, but was also so proud of all of those who risk their lives and sacrifice so much for us and the world! I am proud that my husband is willing to do the same! This video shows how you can pray for the things that chaplains are challenged with especially during war time. They are faced with suffering that is more than most of us will ever see and religious pluralism, but they are allowed to share their faith as they share their lives with these soldiers. What an amazing opportunity they have to be a light in darkness! Thanks for your prayers and enjoy the video! Click here for the link. I couldn't get it to save on here as a video!!

The Mundanes of Life

2008-04-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just long to be able to shirk the mundane tasks of life such as taking a shower, fixing your hair, doing the dishes, etc. and just walk with Jesus. I guess I am feeling that way this morning as we try to catch up in life being gone from home the last two weekends. Sometimes I just long to sit all morning with my Savior and read and pray and enjoy, but then I feel like I must get going and not be lazy or the "getting ready" of life just distracts me. I started to wonder about life in the Garden of Eden. Did Eve have to worry about being clean or cleaning up the garden floor? It seems that they were not distracted my mundane life and that there "perfect" bodies may have been self-cleaning. I know this is a weird thought, and Austin chuckled at me as I asked what he thought about this--theologically speaking. Of course, all of this is speculation, so don't think me a heretic. I just would long to have a week of walking perfectly with God...but I guess that is a desire that we all have...a longing that will only be fulfilled at the culmination of time as we will once again walk with our Savior undistracted. For those who have children, I know this is probably even more of a desire! I pray for all of us that we will have a moment in our day where we get to truly walk in the garden with Jesus.

An Encouragement for the Weary and Those Who Are Mourning

2008-04-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

Austin's grandfather, Daddy Dick, just passed away this week and I have been talking with others who have lost someone close to them or are struggling with death. As I was reading in Isaiah today, I was so encouraged by this passage of a New Heaven and New Earth in Isaiah 65. I hope it will encourage any who might read this or you might be able to use it to encourage someone else. My thoughts and prayers are with Austin's family during this time.

17 "Behold, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.

18 But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.

19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more.

20 "Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
he who dies at a hundred
will be thought a mere youth;
he who fails to reach [a] a hundred
will be considered accursed.

21 They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.

22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
the works of their hands.

23 They will not toil in vain
or bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the LORD,
they and their descendants with them.

24 Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.

25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
but dust will be the serpent's food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,"
says the LORD.

I've Been Tagged!

2008-03-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

This is a little questionnaire that Kathy tagged me on her blog to answer these questions...So here goes!

Where was I ten years ago?
I was a senior in high school. I worked at Express in the mall and spent most of my time with the youth group at church and hanging out with my friends! So I guess my 10 year high school reunion must be this year...wow I'm old!

Things on my To-Do List today:
Well today is the beginning of Spring Break for our students, so after work I'm just chilling...although I do have some thank you notes to write. Also, I'm waiting to watch LOST tonight!

What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire?
I'm with Kathy...I'd be paying off school loans, pay off our car payments and any other bills. Then I would plan an amazing vacation to Bora Bora where Austin and I would make up for our honeymoon (Austin was sick with the flu) in our lovely over the water bungalo and our own private butler. Probably give a lot to missions...then probably put a down payment on a house somewhere! I'd like a sail boat as well...Traveling all over would be on the list too...

3 of my bad habits.
1. Procrastination.
2. Letting my bedroom get incredibly messy!
3. Not getting up early enough!

5 jobs I’ve had.
1. Gift Shop Cashier
2. Barista- college coffee shop
3. Working for a Traffic Lawyer-he gets rid of traffic tickets!
4. Valet Parker
5. Campus Minister
6. Missions Recruiter

5 Things you don’t know about me.
1. I could spend at least an hour a day on facebook seeing everyone's updates. (Maybe that should be under bad habits!)
2. I'm planning to go back to school to become a registered dietician.
3. I secretly wish I was a good enough cook to go on the TV show Top Chef.(I do really love to cook!)
4. I love to take cycle/spin classes at the gym and would love to teach a class someday.
5. I sleep so much better when I have just put new clean sheets on the bed...I love them!

I tag Audrea, Katy, Lucy, Nancy, and Amanda.

What Punctuation Mark are You?

2008-03-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

I got this from my friend Kathy's Blog and she is a question mark which helps to explain why we were best friends all through middle school/high school...I'm a comma. Just thought it would be something fun!!

You Are a Comma

You are open minded and extremely optimistic.

You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything.

You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests.

You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time.

Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to.

(But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.)

You excel in: Inspiring people

You get along best with: The Question Mark

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

The Sun Disappeared Today!

2008-02-26T08:54:00.000-08:00

I'm so sad. The sun has gone! When you get sunny days in February in upstate NY it is a pure treat. We had 3 days of sunshine in a row. All that vitamin D was like an adreniline rush to my system. I had been stuck in bed all last week with the flu so the sunshine was an extra blessing. Saturday, Austin and I actually went down to Syracuse and hung out. It didn't seem like too much of a hassle with the snow melting. Then yesterday it was 40 degrees and the sun was pouring in our office window. I pulled myself right up next to the window and let the sun beam down on me until I was hot to the touch! It felt amazing! I was energized and able to work on my thesis. Thank you Lord for the sun. You don't realize how much you miss it until it disappears and a gray snowy day takes its place! Today, I am questioning God's purpose for snow!

Get a Flu Shot People!!

2008-02-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

I was just discussing with one of our students about the flu shot and whether or not I should get one. As my last words, I commented that, "I haven't had the flu since middle school." Then Saturday morning I woke up feeling achy and coughing with a terrible headache. By the end of the day I had a fever and aches and chills. I got no sleep that night after sleeping most of the day on Saturday. I had to miss church and by the end of Sunday I was miserable with a temp of 101. I could only keep the temp down for a couple of hours before I would get terrible chills and it would go up again. I would wake up at 3 am in a terrible coughing fit and would toss and turn most of the night. I tried not to keep my husband up. I was not myself and probably not very appreciative of my husband's ways of serving me and making me "comfortable". I was a bad patient. Finally I went to the doctor's office on Monday morning which is thank the Lord is only a minute from my house. He said, "Well I think you have the flu." He did give me some Tamiflu which is antiviral medicine to help you get over it faster. Since the flu is a virus and is always changing strands, it just helps if you get it within the first couple of days and doesn't cure it. I have been coughing my head off, laying around, dealing with a sore throat and haven't had a good night's sleep yet! I realized that I spent about $65 on drs visit, medicine, and other sickly goods. A flu shot would have cost me about $20 and saved me several days of sickness. So I tell this tale to say, get your flu shot if you can. I know you can still get the flu even if you get the shot...but it is soooo worth it!

Although I do have to say that my poor sister-in-law, Audrea, has had it with all her 10 plagues and her funny story on her blog, makes me appreciate that all I have is the flu!

Our First Year Together!

2008-01-28T18:37:00.000-08:00

So on January 27, Austin and I celebrated one year of marriage together! I cannot believe that we have already been married a year. It went so quickly! Of course, we were quite busy. Austin graduated from seminary, we got married, Austin moved into my apartment and two weeks later we were packing up to move to South Carolina where we lived for a month and a half. Austin graduated from Chaplain School and I was there bursting with pride! Then we moved back to Dallas and lived with my in-laws for month while we were waiting for everything to go through for us to move to NY. In May, we made the cross-country move (a very long three days!) to Oswego, NY. During the summer, God used us to begin to plant a collegiate church at Oswego State University! WOW!!

So much has happened, but I think the most awesome thing is that we got to do it all together. God has strengthened us not only in our walk with Him, but in our relationship. We have learned so much about relying on each other and our friendship and love has grown immensely. We have the joy and privilege to spend our days working side by side. Austin has shown that he loves to serve me and that he is always working at being a better and better husband! He amazes me every day! I have gotten to watch him grow into a pastor, a preacher, a great discipler and evangelist! We laugh everyday and never go to bed without a goodnight kiss! I know most of you more experienced married people may say, "Oh you're just newlyweds!" But I hold out hope that we will keep working at loving each other and laughing a lot. Our first year has not been perfect...we have had our shares of trials and challenges, but we have learned to fight through them together! I'm just blessed! I waited 27 years for the love of my life! I am so grateful to my God for bringing the person absolutely perfect for me. Someone who encourages me, but challenges me to be more like Jesus everyday! I love you Austin!! Happy One Year!!!

Thanks to all for letting me share this sappy stuff with you!

Things I love about Oswego...or will appreciate when I leave!

2008-01-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

1. That I can get anywhere in about 10 minutes...or less.
2. I never worry about getting a parking space.
3. The word hurry does not exist.
4. The beautiful lake.
5. The wonderful relationships we have built.
6. Snow...ok I love snow. I complain about it sometimes, but deep down I really do think I love it. And I get winter amnesia after every winter...so I know I will miss it!
7. Being able to wear wool sweaters and winter boots and other cute winter clothing!
8. Summer...as great as winter is, nothing compares to summer on the lake, bike rides to get ice cream, long not too hot summer days... and did I mention ice cream!
9. The Outpouring Church. I love doing church with our people...truly wonderful! And getting to work side by side with my hubby rocks!
10. Being right where God has you...nothing better!!

Flip Flops in January

2008-01-11T07:58:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are in Texas or anywhere south for that matter, flip flops in January does not seem that crazy of a notion. But for upstate NY it is really not believable. I should have taken a picture to memorialize the occasion, but I was too busy enjoying sunshine and warmth in January. On Tuesday, the temperature in our area reached 69 degrees!! I was amazed and had to break out the flip flops and toe nail polish. We took a trip for a campus minister's meeting down to Jersey in the NYC area. It got a little cooler on Wednesday due to wind and rain, but I still needed no heavy coat. I just thought I would rejoice in that moment, because next week we will get regular snowy weather. I hope you all are enjoying your January...and Texans...appreciate the flip flop wearing days in January that you get!

Also, funny story...while we were in NYC we went to this pizza place that is actually in A.W. Tozier's old church. It was a really cool place full of people with lots of atmosphere. So we order our pizza's and begin to chow down on our garlic bread when the fire alarm goes off. It's so interesting the way people react to a fire alarm. Some people ignored it, including the wait staff, and others were looking around and trying to figure out what is going on. I was looking for any clue from the restaurant as to what we were supposed to do. Finally, a manager or hostess said there really was a fire and we needed to get out. So we flooded out to the street many people with pizza in hand, while the people at the bar and in the waiting area seemed not to be disturbed by the mass exodus. There is not much place to go on a NYC sidewalk once you are outside and within a few minutes the fire trucks came...so we figured there would be an indefinite delay on our pizza order. So that was our visit to the little pizza place/old historic church! We ended up getting pizza at a little place in Little Italy.

Thought this was kinda fun!

2008-01-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

The World Wide Gypsy Holiday Tour!

2008-01-05T18:14:00.000-08:00

So I finally talked myself into sitting down and writing my long needed blog entry. Austin and I have literally been across the country and back. Austin called it our World Wide Gypsy Holiday Tour---and that it certainly was! We left a couple of weeks into December in order to make it to see everyone on our itinerary. We drove 14 hours the first day. The excitement of a new journey, seeing family and friends, and taking a little break was so great that getting up at 4 and only stopping 3 times until we got to Nashville seemed like a breeze! We saw my grandparents in Mississippi, Austin's parents/siblings and some friends in Dallas, my parents and sister in Houston, other Vann siblings in Atlanta and then finished up our tour in D.C. just for fun!! Let's just say that driving 4,000 miles and over 40 something hours, sounded like a better idea in theory than in reality. We had a blast seeing everyone, but by the time we were done we were ready for our own bed and to not have to live out of a suitcase any longer.

One of the best things about our trip was time spent with our family especially the two new editions, nieces- Makennah Grace and Scarlett Lucille! We were truly blessed. God allowed us to be able to travel not only for time with our loved ones, but to speak with a few of our supporting churches. We were blessed with the ability to go and with the gifts that we received. God has truly provided! We hope that we are able to be as generous in the future. We had lots of laughs with so many people. We were sad that Audrea had to go through so much over Christmas and that she and Jeff didn't get quite the Christmas they expected...although I have a feeling 2008 is going to be an awesome year for them!! So now that we have begun to get back our routine of sleeping in our own beds and trying to recover from eating a lot of holiday food and resting a little too much...we are glad to say Happy New Year and a big thanks to all who hosted us this holiday season. We love you all. Hear are some pics. New Years resolutions should be the next of my hopefully more consistent blog entries!! Enjoy!!

Almost a whole year of wedded bliss! Merry Christmas!!

Crazy Uncles!! What are they doing to you Raegie Roo!!
Christian displaying her beautiful Barbie horse!
Little Ethan showing off his Cars on Christmas Eve!
We love all our nieces and nephews...she just lets us cuddle her the most!
Hanging out in DC in front of the Washington Monument.
Raegan is so sweet...she gets lots of Unkie's attention!
Our first Christmas as a married couple!!

Me and my sister celebrating my dad's birthday!

Gideon posing for his pic!!

We were not prepared for the snow!

2007-12-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

So this beautiful winter wonderland was the scene yesterday (Sunday) morning when we woke up for church. It was so amazingly serene and peaceful and I remembered all the things that I loved about winter and the snow. Austin was loving his first snow here in NY and we banded together to get everything (sound equipment, stuff for church set up) into the SUV and ready for take off! It was cold, but it was calm. We were enjoying the winter!

Then today came...

I'm looking out the window right now and I can't see past our parking lot...all there is is blowing white mist. The wind is blowing so hard that as I was walking across campus, I was literally blown forward or to the right or left depending on wind direction. It was insane! The wind was blowing the car and it is so cold and snowy that I was afraid I might die in the Land Rover on the way home! I'm trying to cancel some other appointments I have this afternoon because I don't think I will be able to see to get there. Let me tell you it is not a pretty sight! What happened to our winter wonderland. It's like someone got the snow globe and shook us all up!

What it means to share a meal...

2007-11-23T14:22:00.000-08:00

We were so blessed this Thanksgiving to be away from close family and friends. I know what you are thinking...that doesn't sound like a very nice "thanksgivingy" thing to say. Of course, it is always a blessing to see family and friends and to be "home" for the holidays, but God had other plans for us this Christmas. We got to share a meal and be family for others. We didn't go down to a shelter to serve a meal or anything, but we were blessed to open our homes to some who could not be with family and some who do not know Jesus. I loved cooking all day long and feeling our home with those familiar aromas that remind us of comfort and love and security and inviting those into our home who may not experience that in their own lives. We had a small group, but we ate and laughed. Austin got to share some Bible stories with someone who had never heard them. We talked about traditions and what holidays should be about. We allowed those who are lonely to seek solace in our home. Sharing a meal meant sharing ourselves, our time, and our family here with those who are without. It was the best thing that we could have done for our Thanksgiving. Austin and I dialogued over our own thankfulness this morning and we wouldn't have had this Thanksgiving or this year any other way. We may not be rich, but it felt good to give of what we do have... a meal!

Failure is hard...

2007-11-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

It is so easy to share with others when you have successes in life and when things are going well. It's often much harder to divulge your failures and disappointments. So I share this realizing that I am human and not perfect, so that others will feel encouraged.

God is teaching me so much about allowing Him to be in control and to have peace and trust in Him when things don't go my way. As many of you know, I have been working like a mad woman on my thesis for my Masters' from seminary. I had all the plans to graduate this December and I was so proud that I had completed this 100 page paper. I was passionate about the topic because it is about college-church planting which is what we are doing in NY. I was waiting to here back this week from my professor about the changes I would need to make in order for it to be ready to turn in. I knew that it had been more rushed then I liked, but I figured I could at least pull a B. (You can only get an A, a B, or you don't pass and must re-write it.) I never thought I would receive an email stating that there were issues with my thesis that my professor could not pass me on... I was devastated, frustrated, embarrassed, and angry all at once! I cried. I worked so hard, probably harder than any paper I have ever written. I would be ok with a B, but not to pass it...I felt stupid!

My professor assured me that all was not lost, but I would not have time to fix it this semester. So I will have one more semester and then I will graduate. It seems that my professor will be willing to work with me on this topic after I stood my ground and God has given me a peace about it. So I just wanted to share because someone out there might go through a similar situation and we just have to trust God and learn from it!

Trying a New Blog

2007-11-09T07:08:00.001-08:00

I'm trying out a new blog here on blogger. I originally had my personal blog on here when I was single and adding pictures and video is very simple. I have been on wordpress with our blog, but I've had trouble being creative with it. There are a lot more background templates on wordpress, but I want to be able to add pics easily! So I will be trying this one out the next few weeks. Let me know what you think!!

This is Austin and I at Niagra Falls at Night!!